As we began the month, we knew that time was winding down for Mother. While, until the end, she wasn't fully comatose, the periods of sleep were increasing and the only responses we could glean from her were subtle eye movements when she wasn't asleep. Because of the danger of aspiration, we had authorized the nursing home to stop trying to feed Mother, and only under their supervision could she attempt to swallow miniscule amounts of thickened water. Over the past two weeks, we could tell that the Parkinson's was slowly, but surely, turning off the switches in Mother's brain. By now, Mother had some awareness of what was going on around her, but was unable to react or respond verbally.
We, along with Mother's sisters, Travis and Glennis, spent as much time as possible in Mother's room each day and evening, sharing stories and reading Bible passages. The staff of Wood Memorial Nursing Home continued to provide the highest quality of care for Mother and us during this time, reaffirming our previous decision to choose this place for the care that we were unable to provide at home.
Having said all that, we have no intention of being maudlin about the last days of Mother's life. Mother lived a full and rich life, had a deep and abiding faith in Jesus Christ as her savior, and was prepared for the journey to her Eternal Home. Knowing that, we did all we could do to remember her life and celebrate it by sharing memories of our times with her in whatever time we had left.
Sunday, June 2
This morning found us in Yantis First Baptist Church, celebrating the approaching graduation of seniors at Yantis High School. After a very nice and appropriate recognition of the seniors by Jeremy Durig and another stirring sermon by Pastor David Bagwell, most of the congregation retired to the fellowship hall for a fundraising meal to support the youth activities this summer.
Because we needed to get back to Mineola, Barbara and I maneuvered our way to the front of the serving line, filled some take-out plates, and then returned to the house to eat and take a nap before going to see Mother.
We voted that because of Mother's situation, we would stay in town this evening, rather than going back to Yantis for the evening service.
Monday, June 3
Needing to release pent up emotions and frustrations in a constructive way, we decided on this beautiful morning to cut back some shrubbery and remove the dead vines from the back fence. It took both of us working from both sides of the fence to pull out the limbs and vines. As we got to the final section of the fence, Barbara gave a loud yell, so I ran back into the yard, only to find an unwanted guest coiled in the dead vines. I quickly identified our visitor as a harmless (as long as we didn't get to close) bull snake. As we pulled out a few more vines, removing all the snake's cover, he began slithering away to greener pastures.
After the excitement of the morning, we got cleaned up and went to the nursing home to spend time with Mother, TJ, and Glennis. In some of her readings, Barbara found a poem entitled "Her Hands." Using her photographic creativity, she had TJ, Glennis, and I stack our hands on Mother's stomach and then placed Mother's hand covering our our's. The results can be seen in the following photograph:
Her hands held me gently from the day I took my first breath.
Her hands helped to guide me as I took my first step.
Her hands held me close when the tears would start to fall.
Her hands were quick to show me that she would take care of it
all.
Her hands were there to brush my hair, or straighten a wayward bow.
Her hands were often there to comfort the hurts that didn't always show.
Her hands helped hold the stars in place, and encouraged me to reach.
Her hands would clap and cheer and praise when I captured them at length.
Her hands would also push me, though not down or in harm’s way.
Her hands would punctuate the words, just do what I say.
Her hands sometimes had to discipline, to help bend this young tree.
Her hands would shape and mold me into all she knew I could be.
Her hands are now twisting with age and years of work,
Her hand now needs my gentle touch to rub away the hurt.
Her hands are more beautiful than anything can be.
Her hands are the reason I am me.
By Maggie Pittman
Tuesday, June 4
We went over to the nursing home to visit Mother this morning and then returned to the house to work on unfinished business. Because we knew Mother's time was coming to an end soon, I went ahead and fleshed out the obituary, and we visited one of the local floral shops and Leon Anderson, Mother's financial adviser at Edward Jones. We knew that when the time came, we would have limited time to make all the local arrangements and prepare for the trip to Artesia. Fortunately, we were working with very knowledgeable and caring folks both here in Mineola, and in Artesia...another of God's blessings in trying times.
Wednesday, June 5
Today began as most days have for the last few years, with us slowly getting in gear for whatever lay ahead. After a few quiet hours of taking care of household chores, catching up with Facebook and emails, and generally taking it easy, we got dressed and went over to Wood Memorial Nursing Home to visit Mother. When we got there, we found that she was sleeping soundly, probably due to the medications she had been given to help with pain and restlessness. Believing that even though she was in some stage of sleep, she could still be aware of our presence at some level, we talked quietly to her and read some of our favorite Bible verses, hoping to give her some comfort.
After an hour or so, we left the nursing home and spent time taking care of the regular business of life in Mineola.
After lunch and a short nap, we returned to the nursing home to find Glennis and TJ, as well as Dottie, the hospice nurse. Dottie said that she was just about to call us as it was evident that Mother was in the last stage of life and we could expect her passing within 24 hours. We had learned earlier that this was what is known among the healthcare workers as "actively dying." Mother had reached the point of no return in this long battle with Parkinsons and would soon be gone.
I stepped outside to call brothers Jerry and Ernie with the news and then we settled in to talk quietly, read Bible verses, and give what comfort we could to Mother...and to each other...as we shared favorite memories, believing still that Mother could hear us and know that she was not alone during this time.
One of the nurses ordered a tray of assorted snacks, sandwiches, and drinks and brought them to the room so we could have something to eat without having to leave the room. We've mentioned over the years how kind and gracious the staff at Wood Memorial has been, and on this day they did what they do best, by continuing to share their love and professional expertise with us.
After a while, we said goodbye to Mother and all of us left. Barbara and I were going to have a light supper, but when we got home, we found that we didn't have an appetite. About that time, Ladd and Angela called to say they were at Mother's room in the nursing home, so we returned to visit with them and Mother. Around 7:00, we all came over to the house to visit. When Ladd and Angela left to go home, we went back up to read to Mother. Then, we returned home to rest a bit before going back to Wood Memorial to spend some more time with her.
Around 9:30 we went back to the house to check on Bonita and make sure she had food and water, since we planned to continue our vigil with Mother through the night. We hadn't been home 5 minutes when we received a call from the nurse on duty...Mother had quietly passed away just after we left her room.
We quickly returned to the nursing home to find Mother looking as if she had simply fallen asleep. The difference this time was that she looked 15 years younger and completely at peace...while she had clung to life as long as she could, we we could tell by the look on her face that she went happily to her new home when God called her.
After standing and reflecting for a few minutes, we began a different vigil as we waited for a hospice nurse to arrive to confirm the death and assign a time, and then later for someone from the funeral home to come to transport Mother. Meanwhile, we began making phone calls and texts to let family and friends know that Mother was gone.
Those who know us know that neither of us does well with sitting and waiting, so it should be no surprise to learn that we also spent some of that waiting time by gathering up things in the room that should be taken back to the house. We had already decided to donate the furniture and clothes to the nursing home, but there many pictures and knick-knacks to keep for later distribution to family members.
The hospice nurse arrived from Tyler around 11:00 pm and certified the time of death as 11:02 pm. The gentleman from the funeral home arrived around 11:30 and by 11:50, we had done all we could do. It was time to return home, get what sleep we could, and begin the next stage.
Thursday, June 6
We spent the morning cleaning out Mother's room at the nursing home and bringing things back to the house. We were prepared to do more over there, but the nurses and aides said they would take care of everything, so we said our goodbyes for the moment.
Several months ago, Debbie, one of the ladies in our church, asked if we would be the photographers for her son's wedding in Sulphur Springs. We agreed, of course, but never dreamed that would be the day following Mother's passing. However, it might have been the best thing that could happen, as we were able to get away for the moment, enjoy and appreciate someone else's happiness, and have some fun doing something we enjoy.
It was a small, but beautiful wedding, and we were so very honored and grateful to have been asked to be a part of it.
Friday and Saturday, June 7 - 8
These days passed in a blur for both of us...there were so many last-minute things to do in addition to cleaning house, preparing for visitation and a memorial service here in Mineola, and getting things ready for an extended trip to Artesia for Mother's graveside service.
Once again, we were greatly appreciative of the few, but wonderful friends who helped us during these days. We don't know how we could have gotten through this time without them!!!
On Friday, our friends Gene, Michelle, and Barbie provided a meal that was very much appreciated and enjoyed by TJ, Glennis, Ladd, Logan, and us.
Saturday also found us moving Big V from Our Little Lot to the Mineola Civic Center RV section. We decided that since we didn't know how long we would be in Artesia, we'd take Big V and return to the place where we began our retirement in 2006.
Sunday, June 9
We went to the morning service at Yantis First Baptist Church this morning and then returned to Mineola to prepare for the afternoon visitation at the funeral home. It was good to visit with family and special friends at the funeral home, but it was also good to get back to the house and rest for a bit before we had to hit the road running again.
Monday, June 10
This morning we did our final packing for the trip to Artesia, arranged for John and Wanda and Addie to take care of the plants and watch the house, and straightened the house as much as we could.
We went to Harvest Acres Baptist Church (Mother's church) around 9:00 to make the final arrangements for the service. We were busy welcoming guests when Heather (who we knew was coming) walked in with Whitney (who had made a flying trip from Olathe with Little Jimmy) to be part of the service...what a wonderful surprise.
The whole service was a beautiful celebration of Mother's life, with some of her favorite songs, a Bible reading, (Psalm 46, chosen by Mother years ago when she made all the arrangements while we were in Artesia), and stories shared by family and friends. Our only regret about the morning was that we were so busy taking care of the business of the service that we didn't get around to taking as many pictures as we wanted.
Very special guests at the service included Elmer and Jenny Bunn, also residents at Wood Memorial Nursing Home. Elmer and Mother had been friends since they were 10 years old and living in Mineola.
Edith
Little Borsberry
After the service and a wonderful meal prepared by the folks of Harvest Acres Baptist Church, Barbara and I said our goodbyes to all and drove to the civic center. I then drove Big V to the house, where we put the car away, grabbed a few last minute items, and then got back into Big V for our first trip in her in nearly a year.
We drove to Abilene and spent the night in a Koa Kampground (not one of the crown jewels of KOA, by the way)...just saying...
Tuesday, June 11
We drove on to Artesia today, got Big V set up on her pad at the pecan farm, took the car that Jerry and Nancy Terpening so graciously provided for us, went to the funeral home to see Mother, and then spent the rest of the day and evening catching up with family members who arrived at various times.
We had a brief time of family gathering at Buster's, a local hamburger joint, and then after everyone got settled in at their motels, we went to Jerry and Nancy's house for a wonderful meal and evening of family fellowship.
Wednesday, June 12
We all met at the funeral home this morning for an hour or so of visitation and then drove in procession to Twin Oaks Memorial Park north of Artesia. There were a number of family and friends gathered together to say our final goodbyes to Mother. The service was beautiful (just as Mother had planned)...singers from the Church of Christ moved us all to tears with their beautiful renditions, and Brother Rick Sullivan of First Baptist Church delivered a moving memorial service. again based on Psalm 46 (When Rick asked why Mother chose Psalm 46, I quipped that it was because she thought it was twice as good as Psalm 23, the traditional funeral passage). And everything was done with the professionalism, yet loving kindness, that is the hallmark of Jerry Terpening and his employees at Terpening and Son Funeral Home.
And then there were photos...and plenty of them. Childhood friends who were neighbors when we three boys were growing up attended and shared their memories of Mother and Daddy and our days in the neighborhood. Barbara's sister Carol and some of her children and grandchildren were also there with us to share in the occasion. If Mother wasn't so happy in her new location, she might even have enjoyed being there with us!
The final photo was of Mother's three sons, their wives, and Bert and Lisa Borsberry, Mr. Sam's son and his wife, who have always been so kind and gracious to Mother, especially after Mr. Sam's passing several years ago.
And then, it was over, as family and friends dispersed to go back to their homes and move ahead with their lives. 47 years after we all left Artesia and began new lives, we were back to see Mother and Daddy reunited (after a fashion) in our hometown. But, we know that they were enjoying a joyous reunion of their own in Heaven, something that Mother had been looking forward to for many years.
With family members already gone or preparing to leave early tomorrow morning, we decided to get some takeout food from La Fonda and have a peaceful evening with the Terpenings, part of which was spent in watching a live telecast of granddaughter Randi', high school graduation from San Antonio.
Thursday and Friday, June 13 - 14
These days also passed in a blur. There was so much business to take care of, family and friends to visit, and maybe most importantly, wonderful meals to eat...and, one of our favorite activities, a rousing game of Chickenfoot with the Terpenings as our final activity Friday night.
In the midst of all these happenings, we checked our email and found these latest photos of grandchildren Ava and Jack in Virginia. We're planning to see them in November and find out how much they've grown since we were there in April.
Saturday, June 15
We took our time getting up and about this morning...had to get Big V packed just right and ready to roll again. We had accomplished all we could in terms of the business of funerals and burials and were ready to head back home.
Today we drove to Hobbs and set up at an RV park there. While Barbara visited and shopped with Susie Francis and her daughter, Barbara Yehl, I borrowed Susie's car and drove up the road a bit to visit my mother-in-love, Marie Neel. Marie is in a nursing home in Lovington and I try to see her whenever I'm in the area.
Tonight we enjoyed fellowship (and delicious steaks) with James, Susie, Warren, Barbara, Henry, and Miriam before returning to Big V for a good night's sleep.
Sunday, June 16
We got up fairly early this morning and began the journey back toward Mineola. We made it as far as an RV park in Aledo, where we met Ryan and Leah for supper and an evening of visiting and catching up on the happenings of the last week.
Monday, June 17 - Sunday, June 30
The remainder of the days/weeks passed by with a lot of different activities. As soon as we returned from Artesia, we found that the neighborhood was holding its annual garage sale the following weekend, so we spent the week cleaning out the closets and attic. Friday and Saturday were the days for the sale, but we got rid of almost everything on Friday and donated the rest to the Kindness Kottage here in Mineola.
We received Mother's death certificate and made appointments to begin the probate process, a whole new learning experience for us.
And, there were the usual daily chores that come with daily life in addition to wrapping up the business of Mother's passing...enough that we managed to stay plenty busy as we closed out the month.
When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way."
It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.
One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."
God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...."
I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.
But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure."
Can it think?"
Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model."
It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."
What's it for?"
It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."
You are a genius, " said the angel.
Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there." - Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers
Adjusting to the new reality of our lives,
Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams
After an hour or so, we left the nursing home and spent time taking care of the regular business of life in Mineola.
After lunch and a short nap, we returned to the nursing home to find Glennis and TJ, as well as Dottie, the hospice nurse. Dottie said that she was just about to call us as it was evident that Mother was in the last stage of life and we could expect her passing within 24 hours. We had learned earlier that this was what is known among the healthcare workers as "actively dying." Mother had reached the point of no return in this long battle with Parkinsons and would soon be gone.
I stepped outside to call brothers Jerry and Ernie with the news and then we settled in to talk quietly, read Bible verses, and give what comfort we could to Mother...and to each other...as we shared favorite memories, believing still that Mother could hear us and know that she was not alone during this time.
One of the nurses ordered a tray of assorted snacks, sandwiches, and drinks and brought them to the room so we could have something to eat without having to leave the room. We've mentioned over the years how kind and gracious the staff at Wood Memorial has been, and on this day they did what they do best, by continuing to share their love and professional expertise with us.
After a while, we said goodbye to Mother and all of us left. Barbara and I were going to have a light supper, but when we got home, we found that we didn't have an appetite. About that time, Ladd and Angela called to say they were at Mother's room in the nursing home, so we returned to visit with them and Mother. Around 7:00, we all came over to the house to visit. When Ladd and Angela left to go home, we went back up to read to Mother. Then, we returned home to rest a bit before going back to Wood Memorial to spend some more time with her.
Around 9:30 we went back to the house to check on Bonita and make sure she had food and water, since we planned to continue our vigil with Mother through the night. We hadn't been home 5 minutes when we received a call from the nurse on duty...Mother had quietly passed away just after we left her room.
We quickly returned to the nursing home to find Mother looking as if she had simply fallen asleep. The difference this time was that she looked 15 years younger and completely at peace...while she had clung to life as long as she could, we we could tell by the look on her face that she went happily to her new home when God called her.
After standing and reflecting for a few minutes, we began a different vigil as we waited for a hospice nurse to arrive to confirm the death and assign a time, and then later for someone from the funeral home to come to transport Mother. Meanwhile, we began making phone calls and texts to let family and friends know that Mother was gone.
Those who know us know that neither of us does well with sitting and waiting, so it should be no surprise to learn that we also spent some of that waiting time by gathering up things in the room that should be taken back to the house. We had already decided to donate the furniture and clothes to the nursing home, but there many pictures and knick-knacks to keep for later distribution to family members.
The hospice nurse arrived from Tyler around 11:00 pm and certified the time of death as 11:02 pm. The gentleman from the funeral home arrived around 11:30 and by 11:50, we had done all we could do. It was time to return home, get what sleep we could, and begin the next stage.
Thursday, June 6
We spent the morning cleaning out Mother's room at the nursing home and bringing things back to the house. We were prepared to do more over there, but the nurses and aides said they would take care of everything, so we said our goodbyes for the moment.
Several months ago, Debbie, one of the ladies in our church, asked if we would be the photographers for her son's wedding in Sulphur Springs. We agreed, of course, but never dreamed that would be the day following Mother's passing. However, it might have been the best thing that could happen, as we were able to get away for the moment, enjoy and appreciate someone else's happiness, and have some fun doing something we enjoy.
It was a small, but beautiful wedding, and we were so very honored and grateful to have been asked to be a part of it.
Friday and Saturday, June 7 - 8
These days passed in a blur for both of us...there were so many last-minute things to do in addition to cleaning house, preparing for visitation and a memorial service here in Mineola, and getting things ready for an extended trip to Artesia for Mother's graveside service.
Once again, we were greatly appreciative of the few, but wonderful friends who helped us during these days. We don't know how we could have gotten through this time without them!!!
On Friday, our friends Gene, Michelle, and Barbie provided a meal that was very much appreciated and enjoyed by TJ, Glennis, Ladd, Logan, and us.
Saturday also found us moving Big V from Our Little Lot to the Mineola Civic Center RV section. We decided that since we didn't know how long we would be in Artesia, we'd take Big V and return to the place where we began our retirement in 2006.
Sunday, June 9
We went to the morning service at Yantis First Baptist Church this morning and then returned to Mineola to prepare for the afternoon visitation at the funeral home. It was good to visit with family and special friends at the funeral home, but it was also good to get back to the house and rest for a bit before we had to hit the road running again.
Monday, June 10
This morning we did our final packing for the trip to Artesia, arranged for John and Wanda and Addie to take care of the plants and watch the house, and straightened the house as much as we could.
We went to Harvest Acres Baptist Church (Mother's church) around 9:00 to make the final arrangements for the service. We were busy welcoming guests when Heather (who we knew was coming) walked in with Whitney (who had made a flying trip from Olathe with Little Jimmy) to be part of the service...what a wonderful surprise.
The whole service was a beautiful celebration of Mother's life, with some of her favorite songs, a Bible reading, (Psalm 46, chosen by Mother years ago when she made all the arrangements while we were in Artesia), and stories shared by family and friends. Our only regret about the morning was that we were so busy taking care of the business of the service that we didn't get around to taking as many pictures as we wanted.
Very special guests at the service included Elmer and Jenny Bunn, also residents at Wood Memorial Nursing Home. Elmer and Mother had been friends since they were 10 years old and living in Mineola.
Edith
Little Borsberry
February 11, 1923 – June 5, 2013
Edith Faulk
Little Borsberry passed away Wednesday, June 5 at Wood Memorial Nursing Home in
Mineola, Texas, following a lengthy battle with Parkinsonism.
Mrs.
Borsberry was born February 11, 1923 in Big Sandy, Texas, to Hubert T. and Iva
Christine Davenport Faulk. She was
raised in Wood County and graduated from Quitman High School in 1939. She also attended Tyler Junior College, Tyler
Business College and Texas Wesleyan University.
Edith moved
to El Paso, Texas, in 1941, where she met and married Joe W. Little; they had
three sons, Jimmy, Jerry, and Ernie. The
Littles moved to Artesia, New Mexico, in 1949 where they lived until 1966 when
Joe passed away and the three sons enlisted in the United States Air Force.
Edith
returned to El Paso and, in October, 1995, married Samuel Borsberry. After “Mr. Sam” passed away in January of
2003, Edith returned to Artesia for a few years and then moved to Mineola on
July 1, 2008.
Mrs.
Borsberry was preceded in death by her first husband, Joe W. Little, her second
husband, Samuel Borsberry, her parents, Hubert T. and Iva Christine Davenport
Faulk, a grandson, Jimmy Clint Colwell, and a great grandson, Jameson Dudley
McQuitty.
Survivors
include sons and their spouses, Jim and Barbara Little of Mineola, Texas, Jerry
and Jane Little of Roswell, New Mexico, and Ernie and Billee Little of Harrison
Arkansas; also, two sisters, Glennis Wright of Marianna, Florida, and Travis
Logan of Mineola, as well as 13 grandchildren and 21 great-grandchildren, and 5
nephews and nieces and their families.
A visitation
will be held at Beaty Funeral Home in Mineola from 3:00 pm until 5:00 pm on
Sunday, June 9, followed by a memorial service at Harvest Acres Baptist Church,
1062 W. Loop 564 in Mineola at 10:30 am, Monday, May 10 with Pastor David
Burcham officiating.
A viewing
will be held from 10:00 am – 8:00 pm on Tuesday, June 11 at Terpening & Son
Mortuary in Artesia, New Mexico.
A graveside
service will be held at 10:30 am on Wednesday, June 12 at Twin Oaks Memorial
Park in Artesia, New Mexico.
The family
requests that in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Wood Memorial
Nursing Home or Harvest Acres Baptist Church.
After the service and a wonderful meal prepared by the folks of Harvest Acres Baptist Church, Barbara and I said our goodbyes to all and drove to the civic center. I then drove Big V to the house, where we put the car away, grabbed a few last minute items, and then got back into Big V for our first trip in her in nearly a year.
We drove to Abilene and spent the night in a Koa Kampground (not one of the crown jewels of KOA, by the way)...just saying...
Tuesday, June 11
We drove on to Artesia today, got Big V set up on her pad at the pecan farm, took the car that Jerry and Nancy Terpening so graciously provided for us, went to the funeral home to see Mother, and then spent the rest of the day and evening catching up with family members who arrived at various times.
We had a brief time of family gathering at Buster's, a local hamburger joint, and then after everyone got settled in at their motels, we went to Jerry and Nancy's house for a wonderful meal and evening of family fellowship.
We all met at the funeral home this morning for an hour or so of visitation and then drove in procession to Twin Oaks Memorial Park north of Artesia. There were a number of family and friends gathered together to say our final goodbyes to Mother. The service was beautiful (just as Mother had planned)...singers from the Church of Christ moved us all to tears with their beautiful renditions, and Brother Rick Sullivan of First Baptist Church delivered a moving memorial service. again based on Psalm 46 (When Rick asked why Mother chose Psalm 46, I quipped that it was because she thought it was twice as good as Psalm 23, the traditional funeral passage). And everything was done with the professionalism, yet loving kindness, that is the hallmark of Jerry Terpening and his employees at Terpening and Son Funeral Home.
And then there were photos...and plenty of them. Childhood friends who were neighbors when we three boys were growing up attended and shared their memories of Mother and Daddy and our days in the neighborhood. Barbara's sister Carol and some of her children and grandchildren were also there with us to share in the occasion. If Mother wasn't so happy in her new location, she might even have enjoyed being there with us!
The final photo was of Mother's three sons, their wives, and Bert and Lisa Borsberry, Mr. Sam's son and his wife, who have always been so kind and gracious to Mother, especially after Mr. Sam's passing several years ago.
And then, it was over, as family and friends dispersed to go back to their homes and move ahead with their lives. 47 years after we all left Artesia and began new lives, we were back to see Mother and Daddy reunited (after a fashion) in our hometown. But, we know that they were enjoying a joyous reunion of their own in Heaven, something that Mother had been looking forward to for many years.
With family members already gone or preparing to leave early tomorrow morning, we decided to get some takeout food from La Fonda and have a peaceful evening with the Terpenings, part of which was spent in watching a live telecast of granddaughter Randi', high school graduation from San Antonio.
Thursday and Friday, June 13 - 14
These days also passed in a blur. There was so much business to take care of, family and friends to visit, and maybe most importantly, wonderful meals to eat...and, one of our favorite activities, a rousing game of Chickenfoot with the Terpenings as our final activity Friday night.
In the midst of all these happenings, we checked our email and found these latest photos of grandchildren Ava and Jack in Virginia. We're planning to see them in November and find out how much they've grown since we were there in April.
Saturday, June 15
We took our time getting up and about this morning...had to get Big V packed just right and ready to roll again. We had accomplished all we could in terms of the business of funerals and burials and were ready to head back home.
Today we drove to Hobbs and set up at an RV park there. While Barbara visited and shopped with Susie Francis and her daughter, Barbara Yehl, I borrowed Susie's car and drove up the road a bit to visit my mother-in-love, Marie Neel. Marie is in a nursing home in Lovington and I try to see her whenever I'm in the area.
Tonight we enjoyed fellowship (and delicious steaks) with James, Susie, Warren, Barbara, Henry, and Miriam before returning to Big V for a good night's sleep.
Sunday, June 16
We got up fairly early this morning and began the journey back toward Mineola. We made it as far as an RV park in Aledo, where we met Ryan and Leah for supper and an evening of visiting and catching up on the happenings of the last week.
Monday, June 17 - Sunday, June 30
The remainder of the days/weeks passed by with a lot of different activities. As soon as we returned from Artesia, we found that the neighborhood was holding its annual garage sale the following weekend, so we spent the week cleaning out the closets and attic. Friday and Saturday were the days for the sale, but we got rid of almost everything on Friday and donated the rest to the Kindness Kottage here in Mineola.
We received Mother's death certificate and made appointments to begin the probate process, a whole new learning experience for us.
And, there were the usual daily chores that come with daily life in addition to wrapping up the business of Mother's passing...enough that we managed to stay plenty busy as we closed out the month.
“When God Created Mothers"
When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts...all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said. "Six pairs of hands.... no way."
It's not the hands that are causing me problems," God remarked, "it's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."
That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. God nodded.
One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."
God," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "Get some rest tomorrow...."
I can't," said God, "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger...and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower."
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," she sighed.
But tough!" said God excitedly. "You can imagine what this mother can do or endure."
Can it think?"
Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model."
It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."
What's it for?"
It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."
You are a genius, " said the angel.
Somberly, God said, "I didn't put it there." - Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers
Adjusting to the new reality of our lives,
Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams
ADDENDUM
June 30 marked the end of our seventh year of retirement. In some ways, the years since leaving Liberal are like the blink of an eye; in other ways, considering all we've been allowed to accomplish, it must have been a l-o-n-g time.
The last sixth months have been the roughest of the lot as we learned more about Parkinsons Disease than we ever wanted to know. Little did we know when we embarked on the journey with Mother seven years ago that it would all end in such horror. We could only watch as this kind, loving, highly intelligent woman was reduced physically to just a shell of herself, while still maintaining her mental acuity. We can only imagine how Mother must have felt knowing what was happening around her and with her, but being unable to express herself. The only way we have of describing the process is that each day of the last few months, a neurological switch was turned off, gradually decreasing and ultimately ending all bodily functions.
Still, even with the sadness of Mother's passing, the beauty and meaning of life was manifested and reaffirmed during visits with our children, the growth of our grandchildren, and the birth of a new granddaughter, as well as our constant interactions with friends, neighbors, and fellow church members. Even in our current sadness, we can state without question that we have been truly blessed throughout this retirement journey.
What lies ahead? Only God knows, but we know that whatever it is, it will be far better than what we could plan for ourselves.
So, as we begin the 8th year of retirement (and, we hope, the continuation of our journal/blog), we thank all of you for your many kindnesses and continued support. May you be as blessed as we have been, and may your joys be many.
Love and best wishes to all,
Jim and Barbara
June 30, 2013
Mineola, Texas
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