December Overview
If it’s
December, then the kitchen in Mother’s house is going full steam! It has been a tradition back to our teaching
days to bake bread and make treats for co-workers and friends. That tradition has continued through our
retirement years. In addition to my
bread baking this year, Barbara found a great recipe for apple butter cooked in
the crock pot. We set up an assembly line
to peel, core, and chop the apples, and then mixed in all the ingredients and
started them going in the crock pot, an 11-hour process. There weren’t very many hours during the
month when the house didn’t smell of fresh-baked bread or applesauce! Unfortunately, we didn’t realize until the
month was over that we didn’t bother to take any pictures.
This was also
a month of doctor visits for both of us.
We’ve had relatively little medical activity in the last six years, but
this month both of us spent quite a few hours either sitting in a doctor’s
office or traveling to and from one.
Barbara’s heart rehab (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in Quitman) and
tests and preparations to find out what is wrong with my knee held much more
focus than we wanted.
And, there
was Christmas...all month, it seemed, but highlighted by five different family
Christmases throughout the month. What a
great time it was!!!
+++++++
Monday, December 3Today was a full day of activities for us. We got up early and started new batches of bread and applesauce. We then drove to Quitman for Barbara’s heart rehab session. When we returned to the house, we had a bite of lunch and then Barbara gathered up gifts that we had purchased for the grandchildren (Mother’s great-grandchildren) and took them to the nursing home so she and Mother could go “shopping” together to decide which gifts would be from Mother.
Somewhere along the way we took time out to take this picture of Barbara with the new prayer necklace that TJ gave her for her birthday.
Friday, December 7
Barbara had
her final rehab session of the week this morning. Later we went to the office of Leon Anderson,
our Edward Jones advisor, for his annual Christmas open house. Then, we scouted around in some of the shops
to see if we could find some more Christmas gifts to fill out the list.
Yantis First
Baptist Church held its Living Nativity Scene this weekend. Scenes depicting various aspects of the
Nativity story were set up along the street between the church and the highway,
and church members were costumed as the many different characters from the
story. Barbara is the unofficial
“official” photographer for church activities, so we spent the evening walking
around and getting photos of the different scenes and activities.
We were all
very fortunate that we had a beautiful evening with perfect weather for this
activity. It was also nice that a large
number of area residents drove past the scenes to get a visual story.
Saturday, December 8
Mother’s
house is in a neighborhood that has many trees...mostly non-producing Bartlett
pear trees, but also a scattering of oaks and maples...enough that fall means a
long season of falling leaves. It was a
nice day to get outside and work, so we went out to try to get the leaves out
of our front yard. Since Addie, our next
door neighbor, also had a yard full of leaves, we just raked everything from
both yards into the street.
John, our
neighbor across the street, was working on a project outside, but took time to
get a large tarp for us to pile the leaves on.
Once we had a full load of leaves, we’d drag the tarp into the North 40,
dump the leaves, and return to the street for another batch. Somewhere along the way, Addie returned to
her house and came out to give a helping hand.
We should
have taken before and after pictures, but didn’t think that all the way
through. Instead, we have these shots of
all of us working and then a picture of the leafless lawns.
Tonight we returned to Yantis for the second production of the Living Nativity. Again, it was an absolutely beautiful night and we had even more visitors than last night.
Tonight we returned to Yantis for the second production of the Living Nativity. Again, it was an absolutely beautiful night and we had even more visitors than last night.
We don’t know
whether today was the end of one very busy week, or the beginning of another
very busy week.
We began the
day by visiting Mother for a few minutes before going to the morning service at
YFBC, where I joined in with the Praise Band at the beginning of the service
and then paired with Aaron Lovelady for a trumpet/euphonium duet for the
offertory.
We left the
church at the end of the service, stopped at Sonic in Quitman for something to
eat on the run, and then drove to the Select Theater in downtown Mineola to
begin warm-ups in preparation for the Christmas concert given by the Lake
County Symphonic Band.
When the
concert was over, we drove back to the nursing home to see Mother, went to the
house to rest a bit and then returned to Yantis for the annual church Christmas
dinner and fellowship.
Monday, December 10 – Wednesday,
December 12
These days
were for more baking, making another batch of applesauce, wrapping presents,
and getting ready for a short trip to San Antonio. Along the way we got to Bonita to the vet to
have her teeth cleaned and be boarded for several nights.
On Wednesday,
we spent several hours in Tyler so I could have an appointment with Dr. Dennis,
a surgeon at Azalea Orthopedic Clinic to see what my options are for doing
something about my knee. After having
some X-rays done at the clinic, Dr. Dennis recommended an MRI to determine
fully whether I had some torn cartilage in my right knee.
There aren’t
many things in Tyler that we like and eating out is really not one of things we
do very often, but a favorite place is Red Lobster, and that’s where we went for
a late lunch/early dinner before taking care of some errands and then returning
to the house in Mineola.
Thursday, December 13
I had an
early morning dermatology appointment in Quitman this morning. As soon as I returned to the house, we did
the final bit of packing, loaded the car, drove to the nursing home to visit
Mother for a while, and then pointed the car toward Dallas on I-20 and then
south on I-35 toward San Antonio.
We’ve learned
that it’s much easier and faster to take the high-speed toll road that begins
at Georgetown on the north, and bypasses Austin and the area traffic on
I-35. On this trip, we decided to also
travel on the new higher-speed toll road section southeast of Austin, but soon
found that instead of going directly to San Antonio, it would take us to Seguin
on I-10, which is NOT what we wanted to do.
So, using our finely honed navigational skills, we located a toll way
exit that would dump us out on a county road that would lead us to San Marcos,
where we spent the night.
Friday, December 14 – Saturday,
December 15
We were up
early Friday morning and back in the car for the relatively short leg of the
trip to the San Antonio area to spend a couple of days with John, Carol, Randi,
Rhett, and Khris (Taryn had to work while we were there, so she wasn’t able to
join in the family activities).
It was a
wonderful family time together, even though Carol and Rhett were struggling
with some kind of bug. We had a late
celebration of Randi’s 18th birthday (how did THAT happen?!!!), and
got to meet our great-grand pig, Phoebe, who is Randi’s FFA project.
John took us
out on Friday to see some houses that he and Carol are looking at. We stopped at one particularly scenic
location and had John take a photo of us, since we rarely have pictures of the
two of us together.
After driving around and looking at houses, we returned to the house to wait for Randi and Carol to get home.
Carol had
bought all the ingredients for Gramps’ world famous spaghetti, so I got busy in
the kitchen, putting everything together for a big family dinner tonight.
After driving around and looking at houses, we returned to the house to wait for Randi and Carol to get home.
While I was busy in the kitchen, Randi took Barbara to her school’s ag barn to get a firsthand look at Phoebe.
I didn’t get to see Phoebe until Saturday evening, and when Barbara and I finally began comparing notes, we agreed that Randi has done a very good and responsible job of raising this animal and preparing to show her at a livestock show in January.
One of Barbara’s favorite activities is to teach the grandkids/great grandkid how to use our cameras. Rhett showed a lot of interest in the camera we had with us on this trip, so Barbara started working with him and soon he had his first portfolio.
Saturday afternoon we took Randi shopping as part of her belated birthday gift and celebration. When the shopping was done we went to a nearby What-a-Burger for some refreshment.
Speaking of photo shoots...Randi took us out to old-town Helotes where the three of us took turns taking pictures of each other.
We had never been to this particular section of Helotes, but after spending an hour or so, decided that we would have to return on our next trip to get some really fun shots.
When we returned to the house for the evening, we turned the camera back over to Rhett and let him do his thing.
Sunday, December 16
Carol, Rhett, and Randi had had a rough night with whatever allergies or flu had hit them, but John got up in time to see us off early for the long drive back to Mineola. We called Leah and Ryan along the way to see if they wanted to meet us for lunch somewhere along the road, but were not a bit disappointed when they said they were going to lunch with some of their new friends from church. We are so pleased that they have finally found a church home there in Cleburne!!!
Monday, December 17 – Tuesday,
December 18
Two more days
of regular December activities...baking bread and making cracked cinnamon candy
were high on the list of priorities, as was gift-wrapping and a trip to Quitman
Monday morning for another heart rehab session for Barbara.
Wednesday, December 19
It was
another regular day of activities around the house, plus a rehab session for
Barbara this morning.
For whatever
reason, we felt perfectly justified in taking a long afternoon nap before I
went to see Mother for a few minutes and then we headed out to Yantis for our
Third Wednesday nursery session at the church.
YFBC is the
place to be on Wednesday nights.
Attendance at youth activities is now averaging between 80 and 90 each
week, keeping adult helpers bustling. We
have developed a routine that has both of us sharing time with Jeremiah (Jeremy
and Emily Durig’s youngest son) and venturing out individually to take photos
of the various activities.
We were
feeling particularly Grams and Grampish tonight as we captured these settings
with Jeremiah.
Thursday, December 20
Happy
Birthday to me (Jim), Happy Birthday, etc. etc. etc.! Today I woke up as old as Barbara (He just
had to say that, didn’t he???), having reached the ripe age of 68. I remember a time many years ago when that
age was unthinkable.
Thursday, December 20
I was planning to lounge around and veg out for the day, so Barbara finally had to reveal the surprise that our friends Gene and Michelle were coming over to take us out for Chinese for the birthday celebration.
Other than a great meal at the Chinese buffet and calls from the kids, it was a very quiet and uneventful day.
This evening was quiet time as we played at our laptops and scrolled through the TV channels, checking for something that would keep us awake.
Friday, December 21
Happy Birthday to daughter Heather!!!
Saturday and Sunday, December 22-23
Carol,
Barbara’s sister, had let us know earlier that she, Teresa, and Tamara would be
passing through the area this morning on the way to visit family in
Louisiana. We made arrangements to meet
them in Lindale for a short visit and a bite of breakfast before they continued
their journey and we set out on a morning of shopping.
Leah and Ryan
arrived this evening (Saturday) to spend an early Christmas with us. We went to church Sunday morning and they
stayed through the night so we could all go to the candlelight service
together.
We had a
great time together as we pretended it was Christmas Day (although for many
years we have espoused the idea that Christmas (and birthdays, to some extent)
aren’t just specific days and dates; rather, they are when family and friends
can get together to celebrate those special occasions.
And so, this weekend was truly a Christmas for us.
As a special bonus for the day, we received this photo of granddaughter Ava from Mike.
Monday, December 24 (Christmas Eve)
We all just took our time getting around this morning. Leah and Ryan stayed through the morning, so we had lots of visiting time.
We had so much of our stuff ready for Christmas that we didn’t have a lot
to get done...this might have been the most laid back Christmas Eve either of
us has ever spent.
Tonight we attended Mother’s church, Harvest Acres Baptist Church, for
their Christmas Eve candlelight service.
Mother was unable to attend, but we joined TJ, Ladd, Angela, and Madelyn
for our family group.
When the service was over, we adjourned to TJ’s house for a traditional
Christmas Eve meal before the others did their gift exchange. We excused ourselves between the meal and the
gift exchange and returned to the house for a quiet evening.
I couldn’t help but think that tonight would have been Mother and Daddy’s 71st wedding anniversary.
Tuesday, December 25 (Christmas Day)
I couldn’t help but think that tonight would have been Mother and Daddy’s 71st wedding anniversary.
Merry Christmas to one and all!!!
Today was
just a quiet celebration for us...with no big dinner or a houseful of guests
for the day; we were able to begin preparations for a larger celebration
tomorrow when Mother will be home for a few hours to share in family time.
I spent the
day smoking a brisket and a pork loin, while helping Barbara prepare some of
the other dishes for tomorrow’s meal.
When we
weren’t in the kitchen, we were in the living room setting up tables and chairs
and decorating the tables.
Sometime during the day the drizzle that we had been having this morning turned into snow and within a few hours we were enjoying an authentic White Christmas here in East Texas.
Sometime during the day the drizzle that we had been having this morning turned into snow and within a few hours we were enjoying an authentic White Christmas here in East Texas.
Wednesday, December 26
Rob, Michelle, and the kids were supposed to be here today for Christmas with Mother, but the combination of snow and flu at their house cancelled their trip east for the holidays. Since we had already arranged to have Mother brought to the house today and had other guests invited, we spent the morning putting the final touches on the meal and then welcomed Mother, TJ, Ladd and Angela, and Mother and TJ’s pastor, David, his wife, Beth, and their granddaughter, Jasmyne, for yet another Christmas feast and great time of sharing in the season.
Thursday, December 27
Happy Birthday to grandson Alexander...9 years old today!!!
Happy Anniversary to
Leah and Ryan!!!
Today would have been the 71st Wedding Anniversary for W.T. and Virginia Perry, Barbara's dad and mom.
This was
another day of food preparation as we readied for yet another family Christmas
tomorrow. Mother was also getting
gussied up for the occasion as she had Leslie come do her hair at the nursing
home.
Mike and Kelly couldn't come to Texas this Christmas because they are expecting their second child soon, but they sent us a beautiful present...this picture of Miss Ava.
In this shot, Ava is pushing the little grocery cart that we sent as part of her Christmas surprise.
Today was the last of out five Christmas celebrations in the past two weeks as Heather, Andy, Alexander, Abby, Whitney, Jim, and Little Jimmy converged on the house to spend the day with Mother and us.
Since
Alexander’s birthday was yesterday, we had a slightly belated and abbreviated
birthday celebration for him before we started with the Christmas festivities.
Alexander was
so happy with his gift from us that it didn’t bother him at all that the cake
was only for show...at least for the time being.
With the
birthday part of the day over, we moved directly to Christmas, beginning with a
meal of smoked turkey, baked ham, and all the trimmings (and more), and
multiple conversations flying all around the tables.
When everyone had eaten their fill, we cleared the tables and moved them back to the garage, gathered around the living room in chairs and couches, and began the distribution of Christmas gifts. Because Mother has so much trouble gaining and maintaining her focus on activities and conversations, we took our time with the distribution...one gift at a time around the room, and then time to show it off (a side benefit of this was that we also had many more opportunities for photos of kids and grandkids with their presents).
Later, TJ came over for coffee, ice cream cake, and some visitation with her great-nieces and their families.
Because we rarely get to see Heather and Whitney and their families together, we made time to take family photos. Mike, Kelly, and Ava weren't here, but their family photo was grafted into this collage.
Before the kids had to return to Richardson, Barbara got them and me together for a rare photo of the three of us. As Barbara so aptly stated when she titled this photo, it was “a father’s pride.”
When the kids had gone and Ronnie had come to pick Mother up and return her to Wood Memorial Nursing Home, we got another load of dishes going in the dishwasher, wiped down the counters, and then collapsed in our chairs in the living room to savor the blessings of the season...five different visits to or from all of the kids except Mike and Kelly and all of the grandchildren, except Ava and Jaycie in Lubbock; however, through telephone calls we connected with everyone...all within a period of two weeks. We were tired, but oh, so truly blessed!!!
Saturday & Sunday, December 29-30
The euphoria
of the season tapered to total exhaustion this weekend. Still, there was work to be done as we took
down all of the Christmas decoration, carefully packed them in boxes, and
carried them back to their place in the attic above the garage. With that done, Barbara began rearranging the
decorative pieces that Mother, and we, have collected over the years and want
to display in the living room and dining room.
After dusting, vacuuming, and straightening, we declared the job
completed (at least for the time being) and settled down to rest.
All the
activity of the week caused my right knee to swell and become very painful, so
we chose to stay home Sunday for some much needed rest and recuperation.
Monday, December 31 (New Year’s Eve)
This may have
been the quietest New Years Eve in many years.
Barbara couldn’t go to her regularly scheduled rehab session because the
doctor wasn’t available (no doctor around...no exercise); so, with the house
pretty much in order, we settled in for a day of computer time, reading, and
napping.
Our only
concession to tradition was to make a couple of phone calls that always end our
year. Barbara and Joyce Whitaker having
been calling each other on New Year’s Eve for as long as they can
remember. Because we had no intention of
waiting until just before midnight to visit, Barbara made the call and we
visited for awhile with Joyce and Gary.
When we
finished talking to Gary and Joyce, I called Max Johnson. Our friendship goes back to our “growing up”
days in Artesia, and we have also had a long-standing tradition of New Year’s
Eve calls.
And then,
calling it a day, month, and year, we trundled off to bed to let 2012 pass and
2013 enter while we slept through it all."The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family, all wrapped up in each other." - Burton Hillis
Remembering a month of Christmas with family and friends,
Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams
+++++++
ADDENDUM
Jim: When we first started writing our journals during the
second half of 2006, we wrote an addendum at the end of the last December issue
to more or less wrap up the year. For
whatever reason, last year’s journals didn't have the addendum, but we felt we
should get back in that practice.
For the
readers who have joined us on our journey this year, we are nearing the
three-year mark of being the primary caregivers of my Mother, Edith Little
Borsberry. Mother has now been in Wood
Memorial Nursing Home in Mineola for nearly a year and a half. She is in the advanced stages of
Parkinsonism, a disease that is disabling and debilitating in many different
ways. Mother is essentially paralyzed
from the waist down, is totally incontinent, and needs assistance being fed
much of the time. The Parkinsonism has
destroyed her ability to smile, although there are times when a smile tries to
break through.
Mother’s
ability to communicate verbally has greatly deteriorated during the last six
months. Her voice is very soft, requiring
us most of the time to get one ear very close to her mouth in order to hear
what she is saying. Perhaps the most
frustrating thing for Mother (and yes, she can show frustration) is that while
her brain is churning, it is very difficult for her to get the words to come
out. Friends who knew Mother over the
years also know that she was very intelligent and had wonderful verbal skills,
but those skills are now almost gone.
We like to
have Mother brought to her house once a month for lunch with family and
friends, trying to help her maintain touch with the life she once knew. For the most part, those gatherings have been
fun and successful, but there are times during the visits when Mother appears
to be disappearing from us.
In addition
to one or both of us trying to maintain daily contact with Mother while she is
in the nursing home, we are also responsible for taking care of her business
interests and maintaining her house and yard (not to mention giving constant
attention to the queen of the house, Bonita, Mother’s 13-year old Chihuahua).
We also,
whenever possible, do what we can to maintain “Our Little Lot,” our property at Holiday Villages of Lake Fork, and
Big V, the motor home that we lived in for the first three and a half years of
our retirement. Obviously, we don’t get
to spend the time at the lake that we would like, and the only trip we have
taken in Big V in the last two years was with grandchildren Alexander and Abby
when we took them to Galveston last summer.
During 2012
we did travel to Virginia where we visited family and friends and I joined 100
other trumpeters and buglers at Arlington National Cemetery to commemorate the
150th anniversary of the first sounding of Taps. In November, we returned to our hometown of
Artesia, New Mexico where I sounded Taps at the dedication of the new Baish
Veterans Park. Serving as a bugler for
Bugles Across America and participating in East Texas Patriot Guard Riders
missions kept both of us busy as Barbara utilized her photography skills to record
the activities for posterity (she has calculated that she took over 8,900
photos last year).
2012 brought
some devastating losses of church friends and our “adopted mother,” Jean
Terpening, in Artesia. But even with the
great sense of loss we felt through these times, we were strengthened through
the restoration of some family relationships and renewal of old friendships.
The life we
are now living is not the life we planned for ourselves, but we have accepted
that just as God provided mission projects and opportunities during the first
three and a half years of retirement, he is now directing us through the
mission of caring for Mother.
We thank our
readers for continuing to travel with us in this “second life.” Your comments, questions, and encouragement
mean more than we can ever express.
Here’s hoping
that God will grant each of you countless blessings during 2013, and that He
will strengthen you to share those blessings with others.
Love and best
wishes to all,
Jim & Barbara LittleMineola, Wood County, Texas
December 31, 2012
