Sunday, April 18
What a beautiful Sunday! Jim played a spirit medley on his trumpet today during the Annie Armstrong offering. Not being prejudiced, I am happy to report that he performed ably and with passion.
We had decided that today that we were not eating at the club house. We would fix our own meal, in our own home (Big V!). That’s exactly what we did and even threw in a 2 and a Half Men DVD to accompany our meal. What a treat!
After a short nap, Jim went out to work on the land planting azaleas, but I found myself dizzy and really feeling poorly.
Once back at Edith’s, I threw some clothes in the washer to get a jump start on tomorrow’s chores as we are hoping to do a lot of yard work once chores are done.
Monday, April 19
Jimmy’s health issues are still out of whack, but we’re hopeful that after the bout today and the change, once again of medicines, he will be able to resume normal activities.
With all the ordinary, boring chores taken care of, Jim and I hit the highway between Mineola and the lake with the Vibe filled with shovels, gloves, plants, etc., etc., etc. It was the perfect day to take care of our last week’s “graveyards” by adding some companion plants.
While Jim dug the holes, my important job was to take the plants out of the pots, stick them in the hole, and cover them up. Really tough assignment!
Another awesome day!
Tuesday, April 20
Happy Birthday to daughter Whitney Farnham in Olathe, Kansas!!!
Lawn mowing day…what more can we say except that taking care of Mother’s yard is a time-consuming activity.
Not realizing the day had slipped away from us, we threw mower, etc. in the car and hightailed it to the lake as Jim was going to work there while I went to my Bridge meeting.
After dumping him off, I realized that I remember that we couldn’t find the butter pecan cake mix I needed to make snacks I was responsible for tomorrow at Bible Study. Since I am lucky to have my own walking, talking, breathing, recipe adviser in Georgia, I clicked speed dial and visited with Nell. Once again, she came to my rescue, but it would require a trip to the store for a lemon pudding mix. With that crisis handled, I wandered into the church to spend a couple of hours enjoying fellowship with some pretty savvy young ladies! (I’m the oldest by 7-15 years!)
Jim: The weather was great, so I managed to get in a couple of hours of mowing and trimming while Barbara was at Bridge. With all the trees leafing out, Our Little Lot is looking much like we dreamed it would when we bought it last year.
Barbara: Back to the lake to get Jim and then on in to town where I left him at Edith’s to tuck in his Mom and the puppies while I ran to Brookshire’s to find the pudding and several other items we decided were needed.
Finally, the cooking session began at 9:00 or so with me making the pound cake and Jim mixing up ingredients to make sausage balls! In the meantime, we realized that neither of us had even thought of supper for us, but decided that we’d just wait a little longer and have a meal of sausage balls. It was worth the wait!
Wednesday, April 21
Happy 6th Birthday to Daniel Duke in Knox City, Texas!!!
Barbara: Bible Study for me.
Jim: Barbara dropped me off at the lot and then headed off to her Bible study group at the church. I dragged out the mower and began hitting the areas I couldn’t get to last night. Unfortunately, when I started mowing a small patch of grass and weeds on the opposite side of the creek, I also hit a small tree stump that was buried under some leaves. It’s amazing how quickly the lawn mower blade can stop when it hits an immoveable object! When I tried to restart the mower, the pull cord wouldn’t move, meaning that the spindle had been broken or bent. In either case, it was the end of serviceable life for that mower.
With time on my hands, I broke out the weed eater and did some more trimming before turning my attention to the new briar vines that are making their spring appearance. Obviously, I didn’t kill as many of the vines as I thought last year, but at least the new vines are tender enough to cut without too much trouble and maybe the Round-Up cocktail that I gave each of them (until I finally ran out of Round-Up) will help keep them at bay.
Barbara returned to the lot after Bible study and then we drove back to Mineola and Mother’s house for the afternoon and evening.
Barbara - Warning: The rest of this journal is of a very personal nature. Normally, we do not share any of the personal, private lives of our children; but to recount the next hours and days of our lives, we must be open and honest.
The real purpose of our journals is a daily account of our lives, and hopefully, lessons for our grandchildren. There is no way to talk about the afternoon and the rest of the week without revealing information that is extremely personal.
And…life is not always pretty, smooth, and rosy…it’s not Leave It to Beaver and Father Knows Best which is what Jim and I grew up thinking it was. (Our grandchildren will have to research the net to even understand that sentence!)
We, like most parents, have had hopes, dreams, and ambitions for our children. Jim and I are blessed with three each, making a total of 6. Through the years, the kids (they will always be kids to us), have grown, married, and children of their own. We are so proud of each and every one of them!
However, sometimes life throws a curve ball and things don’t work out the way you, or they, planned, hoped for, etc. The complete story is Jimmy’s, my son, to tell, but some of his past choices caught up with him and since this is a matter of public record, we refuse to treat it like it’s a deep dark secret or to act like we are ashamed of him, though we regret that through his choices to escape his problems he turned to the bottle for comfort and oblivion. Now, the consequences are going to have to be faced.
With the background laid, I go on with the afternoon of Wednesday, April, 21.
After lunch and a nap, I was fired up by today’s Bible Study and decided to tackle the self-help worksheet for next week’s lesson, which happens to be about surrendering. It challenges with such entries and scripture as:
• Hebrew 11-12:1
• Philippians 2:13-14
What areas of your life do you have the most difficulty surrendering?
Write your own personal completion of these prayers.
• “Lord, I surrender all control over each role/position I hold (mother, wife, sister, etc.)”
• Lord, I surrender all control over my plans to…
There are more questions, more scripture, but these are the ones that are important for what the evening held.
Jimmy called to say that he had court tomorrow concerning revocation of his first DUI probation from an incident in 2003 (which he broke in November). He filled us in on what was going on and requested our prayers, which we were glad to offer on his behalf. After our last conversation of the evening, we asked him to let us know tomorrow morning if he had to appear himself, or just provide letters from the medical staff at UMC and from the Managed Care (rehab) facility.
Thursday, April 22
Jim: We began the day with our usual morning routine…get up early fix the coffee, check emails, take care of online business, fix breakfast, etc.
We made the daily trip to the post office and then went to Wal-Mart for groceries-a lot of groceries…seems the cupboard and refrigerator were almost bare.
While I was picking up things on one side of the store, Barbara was doing the same in the grocery section. As I walked toward the grocery side, I saw Barbara coming toward me. She stopped me and said she had just received a text from Jimmy and that he was headed into the courtroom, so we stopped where we were and offered up a short prayer.
We finished our shopping, returned home to put everything away and Barbara started work on lunch. While we were working in the kitchen and dining room area, the text message signal sounded – it was Jimmy, with the terse message that his probation was being revoked and he was being sentenced to 150 days in the Lubbock County Jail…definitely not what we had hoped for. But, believing that every choice brings its own consequences, we are trusting that God is at work.
The rest of the day was a blur as we took care of things that needed to be done around Mother’s house, exchanged phone calls and text messages with Jimmy’s friends and family, and began making preparations for a trip to Lubbock tomorrow to close up his apartment and be available for visitation on Saturday.
To say that there was little sleep tonight would be an understatement. However, we both felt that Barbara’s Bible Study worksheet paved the way for a much smoother ride on this roller coaster and was definitely what we call a God moment.
Friday, April 23
Happy Birthday to Cousin Rob Sandley in Crockett, Texas!!!
Once we found out that visiting hours had been set for Jimmy on Saturday’s and Sunday’s, we talked with Edith and made plans to head for Lubbock sometime today. Knowing that there was no financial resource to keep Jimmy’s apartment, we turned to God for supplying help in closing it down and moving everything back to a storage facility. There is just no way Jim and I alone could move the furniture, etc. Knowing that, we turned to the Lord in prayer to show us how we could accomplish what needed to be done.
It was at this point that God sent the first of many angels we would encounter through this journey. Leah and Ryan had already scheduled a private week-end away from Liberal and were going to be in Amarillo. We received an email from her shortly after our prayer saying that she and Ryan would be coming down to Lubbock on Saturday by 8:00 AM to help Jim and me close up the apartment, but they’d have to leave by 2:00. Angels 1 & 2 accounted for!
Armed with that information, I hit the computer searching out U-Haul rentals. Mission accomplished, I thought, until I received the confirmation email. Somehow, I had ordered it for Friday, April 23, at 9:00 AM…"Correct me if I’m wrong," I say to Jim, "but I think that’s only 1 hour from now!" (And, we’re in Mineola…not Lubbock!)
I quickly grabbed the phone and found angel #3. John from the U-Haul place, not only said, “No problem,” but also volunteered to come in an hour and a half earlier tomorrow so we could get the U-haul at 8:30 instead of 10:00.
After sharing lunch with Edith, Jim and I left Mineola. Since we were planning to go through Wichita Falls to avoid the Dallas/Ft. Worth traffic, we passed right by the parsonage in Yantis. After a little discussion and a few blocks, we turned around and stopped to ask David and Lorrie to say a prayer with us. Angels 4 and 5. One of the things that David asked for in his prayer was that Jim and I could travel without dwelling on the issues standing before us…that was answered in spades.
As soon as we left David and Lorrie’s we agreed that we should text Cathey and try to see Jaycie even though we wouldn’t be in Lubbock long. To cut to the chase, after many messages back and forth, the bottom line was this. No, we could not see Jaycie for one hour because we hadn’t given her enough time. Again, we recognize we cannot control her choices any more than we can control Jimmy’s or anyone else’s; nevertheless, it hurts.
Somewhere along that unending highway from Mineola to Lubbock, we received a phone call from angel #5, Kyle, Jimmy’s friend and AA mentor, that he had gone by the apartment and gotten a key for us so we could get into the apartment when we arrived in Lubbock. He would leave it in his mailbox since we’d be arriving so late.
However, the closer we got to Lubbock, the more apprehensive we became as we were going to stop at the jail to use a kiosk to put money in an account so Jimmy could make phone calls, purchase snacks, etc. Having been treated very shabbily in November there, we were not looking forward to asking any questions of anyone on duty at the desk. So…once again, we turned to God to stop the fear and to send us help.
Finally at 10:00, we pulled up in front of the county jail and turned to God once more before tackling the business at hand.
Jim: As we walked into the lobby of the Lubbock County Sheriff’s Department, we spied a large machine that could be used for depositing funds to inmate accounts. The only problem was that there were no real instructions and what there was might as well have been written in Martian. We looked at the machine for about a minute trying to figure it out, but after a nightmare night last night and a 430-mile drive this afternoon and evening, our minds were fried.
It was at that time that angels 6 and 7 appeared from around the corner from the information office. A young man, probably about 17 years old, and his grandfather saw us and the young man asked if we needed help in using the machine. We said that we did, since we knew absolutely nothing about any of this.
The young man (we never did get his name) took us through the process of locating Jimmy’s information and completing the transaction. When we said that this was all new to us, the grandfather very quietly said that they were learning about these things for the first time also…obviously a sad and very personal story going on there.
When we told them that we had asked for angels before we came inside, the grandfather smiled and asked, “Do you believe in angels?”
We told him that we did and that they were proof of it. The grandfather then asked what church we attended. We told him and then exchanged a few more comments before they turned away and left the building.
Our next stop was at the information station, where we had to talk through speakers set in a bullet-proof window. Two female deputies were working and it took several minutes before they finished what they were doing and one of them stood up and said she’d be right with us.
A few minutes later the second woman finished with what she was doing and asked if she could help us. We explained that we didn’t know anything about this and had some questions.
We wanted to know if we could bring Jimmy’s Bible and Recovery notebooks to him and also asked about his personal effects like toothbrush, toothpaste, etc. She very politely said that she was new at that job, wrote down our questions, and said she’d ask the other woman when she returned to the desk.
When the first woman returned, the lady who was helping us began asking the questions and deputy No. 1 got a look on her face that said that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. She gave a very emphatic, “NO,” and then realized that we were standing in front of her and that we had asked the questions.
At that point her demeanor changed and she went over the rules with us. The rules are that the inmates are stripped of everything and are issued a jumpsuit…they are not allowed to keep ANY personal articles, but are allowed to buy items from the commissary whenever they are available. Since everything, including underwear, shoes, and socks are taken away from them, they must purchase them from inside the jail at inflated prices; hence, the need for an electronic account, since they aren’t allowed to have cash.
Armed with that bit of information disheartening though it was, we confirmed that the first visitation opportunity will be tomorrow evening from 5:30 – 6:00 and then left downtown Lubbock to make our way to Jimmy’s apartment and try to get some sleep.
The one thing that eased the pain of entering the apartment was to find Jimmy’s Bible next to his bed with his pink highlighter and a list of verses and thoughts someone had encouraged him to read. We had thought we could begin packing things, but we were bone-tired and overwhelmed by the job ahead of us, so we just put on our pajamas and went to bed.
Saturday, April 24
Barbara: Though my heart aches for my son, I have peace because I know that nothing this week has happened by coincidence…that the Lord was preparing me by giving me the strength to let go and let Him move in Jimmy’s life. Even with that mindset, I did wake up about an hour before Jim so I began the process of packing away items. And, when Jim awoke, we went to Wal-Mart to find more boxes. Now, that in itself is interesting as we found that 6:45-7:00 AM is a wonderful time to get some really strong, convenient boxes. We will keep this in mind next time we need boxes!
Back at the apartment, we began even more packing and by 8, when Leah and Ryan arrived, we had all but about 3 or 4 boxes completed. Jim and Ryan took off to find 3 Sixteen Motorsports which is where we had rented the u-haul. While the guys were gone, Leah and I continued to pack things away and then started cleaning the apartment. By the time the guys arrived, we had cleaned the entire apartment, except for the carpet and bathroom. Talk about teamwork!
Jim: Ryan and I drove out to find the U-Haul place. In other times, it would have been very simple, but a large section of the Loop is under construction in the area we were going, so the regular exits weren’t available. Eventually we found the place, way out on Frankford Avenue, and even got there with a minute or two to spare.
After filling out all the paperwork (even though Barbara had already made the reservation on-line), we were ready to go back to the apartment and get to work. I drove the truck and Ryan followed. We got to the apartment around 9:45 and began carrying furniture, boxes, and large plastic bags full of clothes out to the truck.
With a lot of teamwork, we soon had nearly everything in the truck and several items packed in the two cars. Leah made a few suggestions about how to load the last of the items in the back of the truck and, being almost too tired to care anymore, we deferred to her judgment, which ended up being the smartest thing we did all morning. After seeing how her room looked all those years ago and believing that she didn’t know how to even hang up clothes, let alone pack a truck, I had my doubts, but she proved that she knew what she was doing, and by 10:30 we had everything out of the apartment and were headed for Add-A-Closet on north University.
Once we were at the storage facility, Ryan and I concentrated on bringing things in from the truck and cars while Barbara and Leah arranged them in the storage room. That job, which was overwhelming when we first did it in November, went very smoothly this time and by 11:30 the three vehicles were empty and the storage room was full with everything in order to be moved out at a later date. But, it wouldn’t have been possible without Leah and Ryan’s help.
.jpg)
Barbara and Leah went back to the apartment so Barbara could take a shower and change clothes while Ryan and I returned the truck to the U-Haul place. When we got back to the apartment, I took my shower and got dressed while everyone else checked the apartment to make sure we had everything out and the place was clean. Then, we went to Market Square to have lunch at the deli. Leah and Ryan hadn’t eaten there before and were a little apprehensive about eating deli food, but soon discovered, as we had last fall, that it was really good food (and lots of it) at very reasonable prices.We found the visitation area, just a small concrete room with stools mounted in front of small double-pane glass windows, where we would be able to sit and see Jimmy and talk to him over a telephone-style communications system; and then we waited, and waited, and waited. 5:30 came and there was no sign of anyone coming into the room on the other side of the walls and windows. Finally, one of the visitors pushed a call button and a faceless voice told us that it would be a few minutes before we could see anyone.
When they finally escorted the three inmates to their side of the wall, we were able to see Jimmy’s face and barely hear him over the telephone connection. It was not a pleasant time, but it was good to be able to see Jimmy and know that he was as okay as a person could be in that situation. He told us his daily schedule, that he was sharing space with seven other inmates, and that the television in their area was broken, so they couldn’t even watch TV.
When our time was up, we told Jimmy that we loved him and would continue to pray for him (as are many others) and said goodbye before we left the building, got in the Vibe, and started the long journey back toward Mineola.
It was nearly 7:00 when we finally got away from Lubbock and we decided early on that we would go only as far as the first motel that looked half way decent. Once found, we were soon fast asleep, worn out completely by the moving, the visitation time, and the travel of the day.
Even though we have been shaken mentally and physically by the events of the past three days, we remain firm in our conviction that God has great plans for Jimmy Clint and this is an opportunity for Him to show His strength and love. It's not an easy lesson for any of us, but we believe that our faith in God and His promise to never leave or forsake us will carry us all through these times as He has in the past.
“God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.” – God Post-it e-mail
Jim/Dad/Gramps & Barbara/Mom/Grams
.JPG)
.JPG)
