A Little Month of June

Wednesday, June 1 – Thursday, June 30, 2011

Wednesday, June 1

The first day of the month found us going through some of our ritualistic activities. This was the day that the dogs got their monthly medications for crawly critters and heartworms. Getting Spike to take his meds is a piece of cake, since he’ll eat almost anything…the only precaution is to make sure we can get our fingers pulled back so he can’t take them along with the pills. Bonita, on the other hand, is a very finicky eater and doesn’t like taking the pills at all, so we have to resort to all kinds of trickery in order to get the pills down her throat.

The other activity for the first of the month is to change out the HVAC filter in the hall ceiling. It’s one thing to simply change the filter, but the grating also has to be cleaned, requiring one to stand on a ladder, cock the head, neck, and shoulders at an impossible angle, and try to get a dust rag through all the little slots. It’s also best if one waits until this job is completed BEFORE vacuuming the hallway carpet…please don’t ask me how I know this.

In addition to these two necessary activities, we met one of our obligations to the great state of Texas by driving to Quitman to renew our registrations and get tags for the motorcycle and the car hauler trailer.

Barbara stayed at home tonight while I drove to the church in Yantis for another meeting with the youth pastor search committee.

Thursday, June 2

Happy Dirthday to Zeke Duke in Knox City, Texas!!!
We decided that today we’d do something just for ourselves, so after getting dressed and ready for the day, we went by the nursing home to visit with Mother for a bit, and then drove to Shreveport for a day trip, returning in time to see Mother once again before going to the house and calling it a day.

Friday, June 3

Yesterday was for fun; today was for work. I did yard work while Barbara did chores in the house as we got ready for the weekend. It’s amazing how much housework there is, even though there’s just the two of us (and the two dogs, of course), but it seems there is always “something” that needs attention.

Saturday, June 4

I spent yesterday tackling the front yard and the “north 40.” Today I turned my attention to the back yard, trimming trees and hedges, and hauling the trimmings to the burn pile in the north 40…also spread a couple of bags of lime to try to sweeten the ground under the trees. Meanwhile, Barbara made sure the bank statements were squared away and all the bills were paid, and then turned her to the kitchen to make sure we didn’t go to bed hungry tonight.

And, to disavow you of any notion we might have given you that our life is all work and no play, these photos show that we do enjoy watching the wildlife, plants, and flowers that abound on Mother’s property.
Sunday, June 5

A typical Sunday for us now is to go see Mother for a few minutes, then drive to Yantis for the morning service (the church-wide breakfast and Sunday school are pretty much things of the past for us now that Mother is in the nursing home).

After the service, we drive back to the house, have lunch, take a nap, go see Mother again, drive back to Yantis for choir practice and the evening service, and then return to Mineola, hopefully before dark.

Monday, June 6

We spent the morning taking care of business around the house…phone calls, letters, paying Mother’s bills…all the regular stuff of life.

Barbara set out to try a new recipe for bucket steak, one that she had gotten from Kelly when we visited the kids in Virginia back in March…it’s basically a crock pot dish, something that is relatively easy and very handy for a busy day such as this one. With laundry going and the meat in the crock pot, we were well on the way to completing all the tasks we had set out to do.

Once the chores were done and we had a chance to sit down and catch our breath, we noticed that we weren’t smelling anything from the crock pot. A quick check of the kitchen counter showed that the switch was turned on, but neither of us had thought to plug the pot in…bummer!

We went ahead and started the meal, but ended up settling on sandwiches for lunch, saving the crock pot meal for the evening.

At 2:30 we went to the nursing home to meet with Mother’s support staff. It was a meeting not unlike the many IEP’s and ARD’s we had participated in over our 73 combined years in teaching, except that this time we were the parents facing the staff, and the primary topic was the eminent transition for Mother to either continued services at the nursing home under private-pay status, or a transfer back to the house for caregiving by us and whatever professional services we could engage.

Each of the support personnel went over what he/she was doing with Mother and how she was responding. We reiterated our position that our goal was to get Mother functioning well enough that she could come home and receive healthcare services in her own house.

As the meeting went on, we saw that our goals for Mother might never be met. Lee, the physical therapist, reported that Mother had maxed out on her capabilities for using her legs. Mother will probably never walk again, certainly not unaided. Additionally, she is totally incontinent, and many times unaware that she has wet or soiled herself. Mother’s meds must be carefully balanced and monitored as the Parkinsonism marches onward, affecting her mental acuity and motor skills.

On the good side, Mother’s appetite is generally very good and her spirits are, for the most part, fair to very good. There is continued deterioration in her frontal lobe, resulting in periods of time and spatial confusion. When her mind is on track, Mother is as sharp and witty as ever, but the Parkinsonism has deeply affected her ability to take her thoughts and express them verbally. Mother is highly intelligent and was always very articulate, but now gets highly frustrated at her inability to express herself easily; the words she has always known and used just don’t come out when she needs them.

After all the staff members had spoken and we had asked a number of questions about what they had said, we finally asked the most pointed question, “Will Mother be able to return home, or will she need continuous monitored care at the nursing home?”

The answer was blunt, but not without compassion for Mother and for us. Without 24/7 monitored, professional care, we would be putting ourselves and Mother at risk by attempting to return her to the house for fulltime caregiving. The mental and physical stress on all of us would create a hazard for all of us. The staff pointed out very professionally and with compassion for us and Mother, that Barbara and I are not capable of providing the level of care necessary to insure Mother’s physical and mental care.

The recommendation of the staff was unanimous that Mother should remain under their care and, having tried care at home with nearly disastrous results, we reluctantly agreed. We had promised Mother when we took over her care in January, 2010 that our goal was to keep her in her own home, but that we would also do what was necessary to provide the best care possible. However, the onslaught of the Parkinsonism has presented problems and issues that make it not only impossible, but downright dangerous, for us to continue doing what we were doing.

Following the meeting and our decision to continue Mother’s care at Wood Memorial Nursing Home, we went to TJ’s house to tell her about the meeting, the concerns, and our decision. As can easily be expected, this whole situation is highly emotional, and while TJ didn’t agree with our decision, she would support (reluctantly) what we thought we needed to do.

In a somber mood, but convinced that we had made a decision that was in Mother’s best interests, we returned to the house to discuss and reflect on the discussions and decisions that had come out of this day’s activities. We always thought that being a parent was difficult enough, but being a parent to a parent is, perhaps, one of life’s greatest challenges.

Tuesday, June 7

I got up early this morning to go to prayer meeting at Yantis FBC and then returned to the house. We decided we’d grab a Sonic breakfast and head out to find out what we could about our pending (should have already been completed) project at Our Little Lot.

We drove first to Chris’s place of business just north of Lake Fork, but he was out on a job and didn’t answer his phone. We left a message and then decided we’d just drive over to Emory to the Carolina Carports distribution center to try to find out why the steel for our cover and shed hadn’t been delivered; after all, it had been a month since we had contracted Chris to do the job and paid for the steel.

When we got to Carolina Carports, we found friendly and helpful folks, but we also found that the steel, although paid for, had never been ordered. To say we were unhappy would be an extreme understatement.

After repeated unanswered calls to Chris, we returned to Mineola so I could attend a meeting with our CPA to discuss Mother’s investments and the tax ramifications of receiving some distributions to pay for Mother’s care when her Medicare benefits for nursing home care cease.

Later this evening, we decided to spend the night in Big V so I could get up early tomorrow morning and take her to Quitman for annual inspection. So, we packed a few things for overnight, drove out to Holiday Villages, and set up housekeeping for the night. Unfortunately, while we were checking the place out (in the dark, without a flashlight), Barbara stepped off the back of the slab into a hole that I had left uncovered after setting utility pipes for the shed, and fell down, bruising a few body parts. After we made sure she was okay and nothing was broken, we went into Big V and spent a somewhat restless night.

Wednesday, June 8

I got up early and drove Big V to Quitman to the inspection station, arriving well before the place opened. Barbara needed a few things from the grocery store, so she drove the car in, got us some pastries for breakfast, and then returned to the lot to try to make sense of all the “stuff” that had been stored under the motor home.

When I returned to Holiday Villages with Big V, I parked her in the RV park, plugged in the shoreline, and cranked up the air conditioner to try to keep her as cool as possible in the increasing summer heat.

After all that activity, we returned to Mineola, stopped at the nursing home to visit with Mother for a while, and then went to the house to just chill for the rest of the day.

The unpleasantness of the week so far was put in the background when we received a surprise visit from our Kansas/Texas friends, Gene and Michelle Young who, as constant readers may remember, served as superintendent and principal, respectively, at Dodge City once upon a time.

Thursday, June 9

Today was haircut day…either that, or apply for a dog license.

Most of the day was taken up doing usual and casual chores around the house, visiting Mother, going to the post office, etc…hardly worth reporting.

Tonight we went out to the lake to the beautiful home of Gary and Holly Long, members of Yantis FBC. The occasion was to have an old-fashioned shrimp boil with members of the youth pastor search committee, their families, some of the church youth, and one of the candidates for the youth pastor position. The whole evening was unstructured and fun and the food was delicious! A thousand words couldn’t tell the story of the fellowship we shared, so the pictures will just have to do it for us.




Friday, June 10

Granddaughter Randi recently asked Barbara to send her some pictures of John from his much younger days as she was working on a special Father’s Day project for him. Barbara spent most of the morning researching photos for me to scan, and then put together a file to email to Randi.

During a break from sorting pictures, Barbara got these shots of a beautiful flower in the bed beside the driveway and our friendly neighborhood squirrel, who has taught himself to empty the birdfeeder.
We decided during the morning that this would be a good weekend to take a trip in Big V, something we haven’t done in over a year and a half, so we looked at the possibilities and decided to try a short jaunt up to Durant, Oklahoma, about two hours away, to try out the new KOA campground. Since it would be just for two nights, there wouldn’t be much preparation necessary and the get-away would surely be good for us after a stressful week.

After arranging for Sophie to look in on Bonita and Spike, we packed a few things and headed out to the RV park at Holiday Villages to prepare Big V for the trip. One thing I knew had to be done was to make sure the tires were all properly inflated, something that is extremely important for any RV. Our friends Bob and Mary Royar brought Bob’s air compressor down to the lot and I aired up the six tires, surprised, but grateful to find that in 18 months of non-use, none of the tires had lost more than three pounds of pressure…Yea for Michelins!

With tires aired and all systems checked, we pulled away from the park, every bit as excited as we were when we took our first in Big V five years ago. Big V handled beautifully and we enjoyed every minute of the drive to Durant.

After checking in at the KOA and receiving out lot assignment, we moved Big V into place, opened the slideouts, connected the utilities, leveled the rig, and commenced to enjoy a leisurely weekend in a different world.
Saturday, June 11

There’s not much to day today except that we thoroughly enjoyed our time away from reality…even took time to swim in the park’s saltwater pool to cool off during a hot afternoon.
Sunday, June 12

Happy Anniversary to James and Susan Francis in Hobbs, New Mexico!!!

It was a gorgeous morning! We woke up early, enjoyed a little breakfast, and then went through the process of returning Big V to travel status for the ride back to Yantis for church (the choir was singing a special this morning, so we needed to be back for that).
Pretending to be “real” RV’ers, we even stopped in the parking lot of the Lowe’s store in Sulphur Springs to take showers and change clothes before going on to church.

After church, we returned Big V to her place in the RV park to await the time when the construction on Our Little Lot would be finished and then returned to Mineola, stopping at Wood Memorial to visit with Mother and let her know we were back safe and sound.

The rest of the day was a typical Sunday…lunch, naps, and then a return to Yantis for choir practice and the evening service.

Monday, June 13

Today was just a “normal” day of taking care of business around the house…nothing different than regular folks doing regular things.

Late this afternoon, while Barbara visited Mother and then stayed at the house with Spike and Bonita, I rode the motorcycle to Quitman to join fellow East Texas Patriot Guard Riders in a flag line vigil for the family of U.S. Army Sgt. Joshua Powell, age 28, a Quitman native who was recently killed in action while serving in Afghanistan. During a very poignant moment, Joshua’s father and brother came out to express their appreciation, on behalf of the entire family, for our participation in the services.
During the return home this evening, I couldn’t help but reflect on the terrible cost of the wars in which our troops are currently serving.

Tuesday, June 14

Today, we celebrate Flag Day in the United States, commemorating the adoption of the flag of the United States by the Second Continental Congress on June 14, 1777. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation officially setting June 14 as Flag Day, and in August, 1949, National Flag Day was established by an Act of Congress.

Flag Day was celebrated today in Mineola by the placement of flags by the Kiwanis Club in front of residences and businesses throughout the city.

It has become our tradition on Flag Day to reprint “The Promise,” a piece that I wrote in 2003 as part of a unit on patriotism by some of Barbara’s language arts classes at West Middle School in Liberal, Kansas. The piece is dedicated to the students of West Middle School.

THE PROMISE

I am the flag of the United States of America. It is almost impossible to go through a day without seeing me…flying proudly over public buildings and military bases…marching at the head of parades…or displayed as lapel pins on the jackets of patriots, young and old.


Perhaps nowhere do I strive to be displayed more proudly than in the schools of our country, for it is there that the first lessons of patriotism are taught to those who will grow up to guide, guard, and defend the country I represent.


But even there, as I am seen by millions of students each school day, I am in danger of neglect. Like all things that are commonplace, I am often taken for granted, and the pledge that was written to show honor to my colors and my country becomes a meaningless ritual, chanted without thought, by young people who have not learned, or who have forgotten that I represent the sacrifices, hopes, and dreams of all who came before, and of countless millions around the world who would share in their freedom.


It seems that it is only in the times of war or national tragedy that I have meaning to the masses who call this land their home. If that is true, then our country is only one generation away from losing the rights and privileges that I represent, and that you take for granted. For after all, if you don’t care, then who will teach those who follow you?


Whether I fly proudly over the buildings of your community, or am placed beside the flags of your houses of worship…whether I am seen as a pin in the lapel of a military veteran, or as an oversized decoration covering the playing field of a football or baseball stadium…or whether you see me draped in silence over the coffin of a father, mother, sister, brother, son, or daughter who served or gave their life for this country, I still represent each and every one of you, and the freedoms that were won on the battlefields around the world.


To you I make this promise…


“I pledge allegiance to those who call the United States of America their home. I will fly proudly as a symbol of your hopes and dreams, and of the blood, sweat, and tears that were shed to gain and protect your rights, privileges, and freedoms. For as long as I am honored and respected, I will be a daily reminder that we are truly ‘one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.’”

“The things that the flag stands for were created by the experiences of a great people. Everything that it stands for was written by their lives. The flag is the embodiment not of sentiment, but of history." - Woodrow Wilson, 28th U.S. president

Instead of going to prayer meeting this morning, I left on the cycle at 6:15 a.m. to ride up to the Lake Fork Baptist Church to prepare for PGR participation at the funeral of Sgt. Powell. While the involvement of the PGR at funerals is always professional and respectful, today’s mood was even more somber than usual as more than 50 motorcyclists and countless emergency responder vehicles gathered in and around the parking lot of the church.

Barbara drove out later to document the proceedings with her camera, taking pictures first of the flag line as we stood attention around the church for an hour preceding the service. When we broke the line down to await the procession after the funeral, Barbara drove back toward the cemetery, stopping at a major intersection along the route so she could photograph the procession as it came by.



A moment that will forever remain in my memory occurred as the riders stood at attention and saluted as the family, friends, and Army Honor Guard exited the church to prepare for Sgt. Powell’s final ride. I glanced toward the family and saw Joshua’s wife standing stoically with her arms around their ten-year old daughter, another family member holding their infant, and Joshua’s father leaning on his mother while rendering a military salute as the flag-draped casket was loaded into the coach. There wasn’t a dry eye in the crowd as we all were struck with the terrible realization that these horrible wars have smitten even small-town East Texas.

The service at the cemetery was handled beautifully and professionally by the Army Honor Guard as they rendered the honors that were due their brother in arms.

When all was said and done, the Patriot Guard Riders left as unobtrusively as the Harley exhaust systems would allow, and we went our separate ways, each, I am sure, reflecting on the dedication of Sgt. Powell and the ultimate price he paid in service to his country.

Wednesday, June 15

After two emotionally charged days, it was good to return to a time of doing not much of anything except taking care of basic daily chores and commitments. I took Spike to the vet for his regular laser treatment (his arthritis is getting worse) and Barbara took care of the cooking for the day. Other than that, there was nothing worth noting except…

Hallelujah!!! We received a call from Chris telling us that the steel had arrived and would be delivered tomorrow morning and the crew would begin construction of our new patio cover and shed.

Thursday, June 16

I left early and rode the cycle out to Holiday Villages to oversee the beginning of the construction at Our Little Lot. By 8:15, the trailer load of steel was in place, followed shortly by Chris and his crew, who immediately started to work building the frame.

I had a 10:00 a.m. dermatology appointment in Quitman, so I had to leave for a while, but Barbara was there by then to document the progress of the work.

At the office in Quitman, The P.A., Mr. Gautier, checked me over, froze a few places on my arms and hands, and told me to come back in six months…my kind of a doctor appointment!

With my medical needs met, I returned to Our Little Lot to watch as yet another dream for our place took shape. Even having helped with steel building construction at churches in Florida and Tennessee, we are still amazed at all that goes into such work.


By 1:00 p.m., the work was all done except for a few finishing touches that Chris promised to take care of tomorrow. Chris and the crew pulled away, we took a few more photos, and then we returned to Mineola to visit Mother and let her know where we had been, and go back to the house to start packing things that were piled up in the garage, just waiting to be transported to their new “home.”

This evening we borrowed Cousin Madelyn’s pickup truck, loaded it with boxes and equipment to be stored in the new shed, and drove out to the lot, arriving just in time to catch the final rays of the sun as we moved everything from the truck to the storage shed and locked it up.

It would have been nice to just spend the night at Big V, but Madelyn needed her truck back and the puppies needed us to come home and feed them, so we returned to Mineola, dropped off the truck, and drove to Mother’s house, excitedly contemplating the next steps in store for Our Little Lot.

Friday, June 17

Happy Birthday to Amanda Duke in Knox city, Texas!!!

With all the things we had brought from Liberal moved out to the storage shed, we decided to tackle Mother’s garage to try to make more sense of it. I unpacked the new smoker and infra-red cooker and put them together, and then Barbara and I set about cleaning, straightening, and generally reorganizing the garage so we could have both the car and the motorcycle in it and still have room to move around.

The next big project was to go to Walmart, always a delightful adventure (that’s sarcasm you hear dripping), to stock up on food and supplies…then, back to the house to put everything away.

Later, we gathered up a few more things we decided belonged in storage and took them out to the lot, taking time while we were there to reorganize the stacks in the shed.

Saturday, June 18

We met Chris out at the lot to see him working on the final stage of our patio construction. When we first ordered the steel, we didn’t plan on putting siding on the outside of the patio, but decided after the work was done that we wanted the area enclosed at the bottom. Chris scrounged around and found enough steel siding to do what we wanted, and he and his son came out this morning to take care of the job.
It was our intention today to join a group of Patriot Guard Riders for a ride to DFW Airport to help escort the body of yet another East Texas fallen soldier, killed in action in Afghanistan, back to his home in Gladewater. I contacted the ride leader to find out what time they would be coming through Lindale and said we’d join the group there.

Well, we got to Lindale in plenty of time, waited, and waited, and waited (temperature well over 100 and not even a hint of shade or even a breeze), and then set out slowly on I-20, giving the group plenty of time to catch up. After a few miles, it became obvious that even if the group did catch up, we couldn’t possibly get to the airport in time, so we turned around and returned to the house, stopping first to visit with Mother at Wood Memorial.

We found out later that the riders from Gladewater had a State Trooper escort all the way to Dallas and had blown through Lindale at 85 miles per hour about 20 minutes before we got there. It was just as well that we missed that part of the trip, since that was w-a-y too fast for us to ride in formation.

Later in the afternoon, I decided that I’d ride west toward Grand Saline and meet the procession there. For some reason, I took a street that I wouldn’t normally take, only to find that at the intersection with U.S. 80, there was a large congregation of riders, waiting for the procession to reach Mineola and to take the lead for the final leg of the trip to Gladewater.
I immediately called Barbara and she came down to the area to wait for the group from Dallas to arrive so she could take photos of the event. The whole thing took much longer than any of us expected, but it was heartening to see that hundreds of people were lined up the length of U.S. 80 all the way through Mineola to pay their respects, even as the temperature reached 110.

When the group finally arrived from Dallas, they took a short break and then we all mounted up to begin the trip to Gladewater. There were nearly 100 motorcycles and more emergency response vehicles than we could count as we rode across East Texas in a procession that stretched for nearly two miles. Along the way were walls of people standing along the highway and displaying banners and flags to show their respect for Warrant Officer Gaudet and his family.

We finally arrived at the funeral home in Gladewater, with motorcycles lined up in four rows and completely encircling the block. We dismounted and took our places in formation as Warrant Officer Gaudet’s casket was removed from the coach and taken into the funeral home by an Army Honor Guard.

With that part of our mission accomplished, we remounted our bikes and went our separate ways. It was after dark when I finally arrived back at the house, but Barbara had supper ready and we were both ready to sit down and relax after a long, hot, and very emotional day.

Sunday, June 19

Happy Father’s Day to dad’s everywhere!!!

We were still wrung out from the work and activities of the week, so we elected to take today off (in a manner of speaking). Instead of going to Yantis this morning, we slept in and then celebrated Father’s Day by working around the house and yard.

While I washed the motorcycle (had to get rid of the weekend bugs and get it shined up for a funeral ride tomorrow), Barbara cooked a big breakfast. We ate, took care of the dishes, and then went to work on the yard, mowing, trimming, edging, trimming hedges, etc. It was a beautiful day for working outside, and we made the most of it.

After getting cleaned up, we went to Wood Memorial for a visit with Mother and then returned to the house where I set up the grill and barbecued pork chops while Barbara put the rest of the meal together.

Pat, a good friend from Georgia, recently received a number of old pictures of her father and wanted to save them the way we have been doing with old family pictures, so Barbara spent quite a bit of time giving Pat some online instruction and then structuring some beautiful collages to send her.

Monday, June 20

Happy Birthday today to Cousin Ladd Thompson in Mineola, Texas!!!
I was up early this morning to prepare for a PGR ride to honor Warrant Officer Bradley Gaudet, a U.S. Army helicopter pilot who was recently killed in action in Afghanistan. I had a quiet and uneventful ride to Gladewater, where I joined 50 fellow East Texas Patriot Guard Riders to stand in the flag line and then escort the remains and the family to the cemetery.

The church parking lot was very small and difficult to get to because traffic had been blocked in certain parts of the area, so three of us ended up doing traffic control and directing drivers to the parking lot. I was doing my best imitation of an air force AP when a driver, obviously a military veteran or retiree, drove up, rolled down his window, and smiled and said, “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” I indicated that I had, but didn’t explain that my traffic directing was always to keep drivers from running over band members when we were street marching.
Barbara stayed home to work and prepare lunch, and as soon as I got back to the house, we ate and then rested a bit to await a phone call from my nephew, Gary Dan Little, the son of brother Jerry. Gary and his family were on a trip from Georgia to New Mexico and wanted to stop by to see Mother, his Granny Little.

Gary and the tribe got here later than any of us expected (traveling with little ones isn’t conducive to keeping a tight schedule), and after they arrived at the house for a “necessary break,” we led them to Wood Memorial for a reunion with Mother before they had to get on down the road.
The youth pastor search committee had a called meeting tonight and we found that our choice for the position had turned us down, saying that he just didn’t feel that God was calling he and his family to Yantis. We couldn’t help but respect his decision, but we were very disappointed. We’ll now re-open the search and see where we are led.

Tuesday, June 21

While I went to prayer meeting at Yantis FBC this morning, Barbara stayed home and got things ready for a visit from Leah, who was driving in to visit for a few days.

When prayer meeting was over, I returned to the house and we took care of the daily chores while we waited for Leah to arrive.

Two prayers were answered today…we received some rain (that’s a BIG hallelujah these days) and Leah arrived safely.

After unloading the car and getting Leah set up in Mother’s room, we visited for awhile, went to Wood Memorial so Leah could talk to Granny, and then drove out to Our Little Lot to show off the new construction.
Tonight’s activities centered mostly on talking, talking, and more talking.

Wednesday, June 22

With Leah here to help, we decided this morning would be as good a time as any to take Spike and Bonita to the nursing home to see their Mama. Spike thoroughly enjoyed the ride over, but Bonita, in her inimitable Chihuahua fashion, managed to make the 5-minute drive seem like five hours in a torture chamber.

When we got to Wood Memorial, Barbara went inside to get Mother ready for the visit and wheel her outside in the warm sun (we’ve learned through experience that it is generally unwise to take both puppies inside to see Mother…one or the other, but never both).

Leah and I walked the dogs around and around the parking lot until Barbara and Mother came out the front door of the building and got situated where it was warm, but not to bright for Mother’s eyes. Mother was thrilled to see her babies and the puppies were on pretty good behavior, so we had a nice long visit at the front of the building before wheeling Mother and walking the dogs to the back entrance so Leah, Spike, and Bonita could meet Lee, the physical therapist, and an avid dog lover.
We could tell when Mother was getting tired and the dogs were getting restless, so we left Mother in Lee’s capable hands for her morning PT session and the rest of us walked back to get in the car and return to the house.

After returning the puppies to the house, Barbara, Leah, and I went to Walmart to pick up some things we needed for the week. When we got back to the house and unloaded the car, Barbara stayed behind to put things away while Leah and I went across town to Sonic to buy lunch.

Barbara and Leah decided to redecorate the kitchen this afternoon, so they spent several hours taking down all the things that Mother had on the tops of the cabinets, cleaning them, and reorganizing them. They even took some of our collectibles that we brought back from the Liberal house in May and mixed them in with Mother’s antiques, coming up with a very attractive display.

This evening, I drove back out to Yantis to meet with the youth pastor search committee to assess a fresh batch of resumes and start the search process all over.

When I got back to the house, the three of us went to Brookshire’s to pick out a brisket to smoke tomorrow, and then returned to the place and I went to work devising a marinade to soak it in all night.

Thursday, June 23

I got up this morning and got the smoker going…my first time to ever smoke the meat instead of grilling. I have to admit that I did have the neighborhood stinking pretty good.

Around 9:30, we drove out to Holiday Villages to move Big V from the RV park to Our Little Lot. It is not an easy process, but with Barbara and Leah’s help, I got Big V backed into the right position on the pad and we set about opening the slideouts, leveling, and hooking up all the utilities. Wow, Big V sure looks nice with the new shed and patio attached to the original pad and cover…we’re movin’ on up in the neighborhood!

When we got back to town, Barbara set to work fixing all the trimmings to go along with the brisket while Leah and I drove over to Wood Memorial to visit with Mother and see how her day was going.

When Leah and I returned from seeing Mother, she and Barbara made some “adjustments” to their kitchen redecorating project, getting everything just as they wanted it…for today, anyway. (The wooden box in the middle was made for Barbara years ago in shop class by a student, Mike Farmer. It continues to be her treasure!)
Later, TJ came over to join us for lunch…smoked brisket with all the trimmings…good eating and a good visit for all of us. A day just doesn’t get much better than this!
Friday, June 24

We all just took our sweet time getting around this morning…visiting and having a leisurely breakfast and enjoying the last part of Leah’s visit with us.

Leah and Ryan decided that for my Father’s Day gift, they wanted to treat me to a Ranger’s game in Arlington. Unfortunately, even though Ryan was in Dallas, he was attending a work-related event and couldn’t go to the game, and Barbara said that she had no interest in going to the game. However, we made arrangements for Leah and me to go visit Heather, Andy, and the kids this afternoon, go to the ballgame this evening, and then go back and spend the night at the kid’s house. Leah would then get up early tomorrow morning to go meet Ryan and Barbara would drive over from Mineola to join me in visiting with the kids.

So, with the plans all in place, Leah and I said goodbye to Barbara and got in Leah’s car for the drive to Richardson, stopping first at the nursing home to see Mother and let Leah tell her goodbye. Then, it was down the road for the two-hour drive to the kids’ house.

Andy and Abby were out on a father/daughter outing when we got to the house, but we got to visit with Heather and Alexander, and Alexander took the time to give his Gramps some baseball and soccer lessons.

Andy and Abby returned a little before 5:00, just in time to say hi and for me to get a picture of Abby before Leah and I joined the Friday rush hour throngs as we drove from one side of the Dallas area to the other, arriving at the Ball Park just in time to find our seats and watch the Mavericks’ Dirk Nowitzky throw out the first pitch.

Tonight was the first time since 1994 that I attended a Rangers game. On that night, I was with the Liberal High School band on our spring tour and the game was one long rain delay. The weather this evening was beautiful and, while it was brutally hot in the sun, the seats Leah selected were in the shade and we had a nice breeze blowing over us.
It was a fun evening…the Rangers won and we had a great time…what a wonderful and thoughtful gift from Leah and Ryan!

After the game, Leah and I made our way out of the park to the parking lot (we were cheap, so parking was several blocks away) and then back across the city to Heather and Andy’s house where we visited with them for about an hour before going to sleep after a long and busy day.

Saturday, June 25

Leah got up and away fairly early this morning and Barbara wasn’t due to arrive until 10:30 or so, so I had plenty of time to continue the visit with the kids. Abby and Alexander and I played and then when Andy took the car in for service, I walked with Heather and the kids to a neighborhood yard sale.

When Barbara arrived and Andy returned, we all sat and visited some more…the kids showed Barbara their reading skills (which, by the way, are tremendous) and then we followed them to a restaurant where we met Leah and Ryan and we all enjoyed a nice, if somewhat noisy, family lunch.



By 2:00, it was time for everyone to go their separate ways, so we went outside for the traditional photo session and then headed back to Mineola, stopping along the way to do a little shop-looking at Walmart and Lowe’s to look for an outdoor carpet for the new patio at Our Little Lot.

We stopped at Wood Memorial on the way into Mineola, visited with Mother and told her about our weekend, and then went to the house, took care of the puppies, and called it a day.

Sunday, June 26

It was a typical Sunday for the Littles…go see Mother, go to church, return to the house for the afternoon, go see Mother before returning to Yantis for choir practice and the evening service, and return to the house…hardly worth writing about. We did, however, work into the late hours, spending some time working on text and photos for journals and blog entries which were way behind schedule (but not as far behind as this one).

Monday, June 27

We decided that we’d take a little time for ourselves today, so after taking care of business (bills, post office, household chores, etc.) we took the dogs to the vet for grooming, nail trims, and Spike’s laser treatment, left them overnight, went to visit Mother at Wood Memorial, and then headed to Shreveport for an evening getaway.

While we were grabbing some clothes to take with us on the trip, I reached into my closet and pulled out a shirt that Barbara’s dad, W.T. Perry, had worn and that Barbara had kept as a special memory of him. I put the shirt on, just for a joke, and Barbara insisted that I take it along and wear it this weekend. I know there is a name for this style of shirt, but can’t think of it as I write this entry. So, faithful and constant readers, whoever reads this far and knows the name of the shirt style, if you’ll email us or message us on Facebook with that information, we’ll give you credit for the answer in a future edition of the journal/blog.

The new hat I’m sporting was my idea, and is something we purchased at Bealls before leaving Mineola today. The dermatologist has ordered me to keep my head covered when I’m outside, and the current inventory of hats were either too dirty from being worn while I was working in the yard, or were winter-weight. So, on a whim, I bought this jaunty little number.

After a routine two-hour trip, we arrived at out hotel in Shreveport around 4:40, got checked in, and then went out for a nice dinner and an evening of entertainment.

Tuesday, June 28

After a relaxing morning and good breakfast, we climbed back into the chariot and returned to Mineola for Reality 101 time. I took Barbara to the house and unloaded the car. While she was putting things away, I went to the vet’s to pick up the dogs and then return them to the house.

With plans for John and Randi to come visit next week, we decided that I would go out to Holiday Villages and get Big V cleaned up tonight and tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, Barbara elected to stay home and work on cleaning and reorganizing the garage and preparing some of the things to be given away to a church garage sale.

Wednesday, June 29

I woke up early at the lake lot this morning and continued what I had started last night, mainly scrubbing down the interior of Big V, and vacuuming the floors. When that was done, I turned my attention to mowing, trimming, and generally cleaning the lot so it looked like someone lived there and cared for the place.

When I was finished and had shut the place down, I returned to Mineola around 8:00 p.m. to find that Barbara had the garage shining and that TJ, the pastor of her church, and some others had hauled off all the giveaways…now we had a clean and well-organized garage at the house and a clean motorhome and semi-organized storage shed at Our Little Lot…life is looking pretty good!
Thursday, June 30

This morning was spent in doing some more straightening around the house. Barbara boxed up a bunch of books and I took a them to donate to the local library; Ladd and Angela came over in their pickup a little later to help us haul some more things to Mother’s church for the garage sale they were having.

This afternoon we did some routine housecleaning and laundry chores…just another day of life on Heritage Drive.

“The circumstances in our lives seem random and unplanned; but someday we will surely see the order of God’s hand.” - Sper

From Mineola,

Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams

ADDENDUM

It’s hard to believe, but this journal/blog entry marks the end of our first five years of retirement. On June 30, 2006, we completed our service at Liberal USD 480, climbed into Big V, and headed off into the great unknown.


We now have 10 journals, one each six months, chronicling everything from our mundane everyday life to great adventures across the country, including making new friends and renewing old friendships, not to mention learning new skills as we helped build churches in Florida and Tennessee, and worked on various mission projects.


The life we are now living is not what we expected, but we still believe that God has us right where HE wants us, taking care of Mother, helping our neighbors, and joining in the various aspects of ministry through Yantis First Baptist Church (where, by the way, our former pastor from Liberal, David Bagwell and his family) now serves as pastor. It seems that “coincidence” is merely a term that man has devised to explain the unexplainable work of God in our lives.


We are so very grateful for the thoughts, prayers, and expressions of our family and friends (our extended/adopted family). You keep us in touch with life outside of Wood County, Texas, and remind us of the journeys we have shared over the years (and give us hope for the journeys yet to come).


We hope you will continue this road with us, and that we will once again savor the joy of love and friendship together.


Love to all…May God’s richest blessings be poured out upon you,


Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams
Mineola, Texas and Our Little Lot at Holiday Villages of Lake Fork
June 30, 2011

A Little Transition Time

Sunday, May 15 – Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Sunday, May 15

Because Mother was in the hospital in Tyler and I had a Patriot Guard Rider mission this afternoon, we decided to not go to church this morning. Instead, we had a leisurely breakfast and then drove to Tyler…I rode the motorcycle and Barbara followed in the car, since I would be going on to Marshall when we were finished.

We found that Mother was doing okay, but not much improved from yesterday. The combination of the small heart attack and the urinary tract infection had really laid her low this time. The internalist who saw Mother when she first was admitted had told us that one of the problems was that when they had released Mother the last time, the infection hadn’t completely cleared, so they gave her some antibiotics to take at the nursing home. That was all well and good, but those antibiotics didn’t clear the situation; thus, the return with a vengeance of the infection. The doctor told Barbara yesterday that they intended to keep Mother right where she was until the infection was completely cleared.

After visiting with Mother for an hour or so, it was time for me to head over to Marshall to meet with the other riders for a funeral mission. I had read somewhere in the mission briefing that the officiating minister would be one of my cousins, Bruce Tankersley, the son of one of Daddy’s sisters from Roswell, New Mexico. At least, when I knew Bruce in my younger days, he lived in Roswell, but that was a long time ago and we had both moved far away from our roots and hadn’t seen each other in nearly 30 years. Due to the mission requirements, I wasn’t sure that I would get a chance to see Bruce, but I was hopeful that we could reconnect in some way.

The day was so beautiful that Barbara decided to come along and see what a PGR mission was all about; so far, she only had my description of what went on and wanted to see for herself. Unfortunately, Barbara wasn’t dressed for riding the motorcycle, so she followed me in the car as we made our way across East Texas on I-20 to Marshall.

Barbara took pictures as I was standing on the flag line, and at one point I got her attention to tell her that I thought I had spotted Bruce entering the funeral home chapel. He didn’t look exactly as I remembered him, but he was the only person who came in carrying a Bible, so I figured he must be the one.
Well, Barbara went inside, asked someone to point out Mr. Tankersley, and then went over to speak to him. She introduced herself by saying she thought he was the cousin of her husband, Jim Little. Bruce’s eyes lit up and he exclaimed, “Jimmy Little? Joe Little’s boy from Artesia? Jimmy Little?
At that point, there was nothing that was going to stop Bruce from coming out to see me on the flag line. We stood there and talked for a few minutes before Bruce had to go back in and officiate the service, but we did promise to get in touch soon, possibly sometime this week if he and his wife, Sandra, could get away to come visit Mother at the hospital.

When Bruce left, Barbara took her place beside me in the flag line and we stood there until the service started and we broke the line down.

The ride to the cemetery was going to be nearly 20 miles, so I decided to not go on that part of the mission. Instead, Barbara and I saddled up in our respective vehicles and rode/drove to Shreveport, just down the road from Marshall to spend a couple of hours before returning to Mineola.

The ride back across I-20 was generally uneventful, but we had badly misjudged the time of sunset, and ended up driving about an hour and a half in the dark, not one of our favorite activities in or on any vehicle.

We stopped at the Burger King in Lindale to make our usual Sunday night call to Jean Terpening in Artesia. As I was punching in the numbers, a lady came over to the car and started telling us that she and her husband had lost everything they owned in a house fire in Mineola that week and were living out of their car and, by the way, could we help them out. The story had a thin fabric of possible truth, but it was a fabric with a few holes in it. Still, remembering how Jimmy Clint had spent a month living on the streets of Lubbock and being entirely dependent on the help of others, Barbara took the lady inside Burger King and had her order meals for her husband and herself to get them through the evening. They did express their gratitude to us (unlike a couple of folks we have run across in our travels and tried to help). We wished them well and then I climbed back on the cycle, Barbara got into the car, and we made our way back north to Mineola and Mother’s house, weary and somewhat worn from our day’s adventures.

Monday, May 16

This was a “taking care of business” day for us. While I made a run to the veterinarian’s office for dog food for Spike and then to Sulphur Springs to get some PVC pipe to use as conduit to run utilities between the new storage shed and Big V, Barbara did the weekly mowing, paid bills, and did the laundry.

When I got to the lot, I had just enough time to cut the PVC sections to length and place them before the cement truck arrived to start pouring the slab. Timing really was everything this morning!
This afternoon, we made a quick trip to Tyler to check on Mother at the hospital. We found her a little improved, but a long way from being ready to return to Wood Memorial and her rehabilitation program.

Barbara stayed home this evening and kept the home fires burning while I went to Yantis to meet with the youth pastor search committee, and drive to Rockwall for the first in a series of candidate interviews.

Tuesday, May 17

Happy Birthday today to niece Keylin Roberts in Cleburne, Texas!!!

We got a call from Cousin Bruce this morning letting us know that he and Sandra would be coming to Tyler to visit Mother sometime around noon. So, we got ready to go and headed over to the hospital to see Mother as much as we could this morning.

The nurses said that they had taken a urinary culture this morning and that it would take at least 48 hours before they had a reading on it and would then decide what course of action they would take. Meanwhile, they would continue with the IV antibiotics and other medications, some of which were making Mother pretty goofy.

Bruce and Sandra arrived around 1:00, and we had a wonderful visit with them. Mother hadn’t seen them in almost as many years as it had been since I last saw Bruce, so there was a lot of catching up to do. It was fun to watch Mother and Bruce as they told stories from long ago. We alternately laughed and cried through the time as we relived times both good and bad. I think the visit was very good medicine for Mother, because her face started to light up and she gave a few of her famous belly laughs.
When Mother had had enough excitement and started to drift off to sleep again, the rest of us went down the street to Schlotzky’s to have lunch and continue our conversations and catching up.

About three o’clock we finally called it quits and all headed our separate ways, Barbara and I returned to Mineola where I got cleaned up and went back to Yantis to meet with the youth pastor search committee and then drive east to Longview to interview another candidate.

It was well after 10:00 when I returned home, completely worn out from three days of continuous activity and late nights, and ready to fall into the bed.

Wednesday, May 18

We got up this morning with a single item agenda – go to the hair salon and get haircuts before we have to go to city hall and register for dog tags!

When we were finished with our haircuts, we got a call from Michelle Young in Kansas, asking if we would check their post office box in Quitman to see if their medications had been mailed there by mistake instead of being sent to Inman.

Since we’ve been taking care of the Young’s mail for them, we agreed and drove on to Quitman to see what we could see. Unfortunately, I had failed to bring the PO box key with me and when I asked for assistance at the counter, I was told that they couldn’t give me the mail without written authorization from Gene or Michelle. They did, however, agree to check the box and see if there was a package in it. When the lady said there was no package there and no record of one coming in, we drove out to Holiday Village to see if by any chance Fed-Ex or UPS had delivered out there.

There wasn’t a package at the ranger station, so we drove to the Young’s lot and, sure enough, a large package, wrapped in cellophane, was tied onto their fence. We don’t have any idea how long it had been hanging there, but we called Michelle, told her the lost was found and that we’d return to Quitman and mail it to them.

Along the way, we got a phone call that Barbara’s new glasses had arrived at Walmart, so we went there after we left the Quitman post office and she got the new frames and lenses fitted.

By the time we’d done all that, we were weary with well-doing and decided to go to the house, have a light lunch, and take a nap.

After our naps, we drove back to Tyler to check on Mother and try to see Dr. Plotkin, Mother’s neurologist, to see if and when he would be treating her Parkinsonism again. Everything that had been planned to date had been put on hold until the infection was completely knocked out so Dr, Plotkin could draw reasonable conclusions about which behaviors were related to Parkinsonism.

On the way back to Mineola, we got the call that my new glasses had arrived at the shop where I had been fitted, so we drove almost all the way back to Holiday Villages so I could get the new lenses and frames adjusted and fitted.

At the end of the day, we couldn’t tell you all the places we had been and things we had done, but at least we could both see clearly where we were headed (kind of).

Thursday, May 19

We made arrangements with TJ and Glennis to come over to the house around 4:00 this afternoon for a visit.

Since we would have guests this afternoon, we went over to Tyler to see Mother this morning and talk to whatever nurses and doctors we could find to see how things were going. The first nurse we talked to confirmed that Mother appeared to be getting better and that they would be reading the culture and then determining where to go from there, but they agreed that Mother would not be released before the weekend because there was no way the infection was completely knocked out.

We spent a couple of hours visiting with Mother and telling her about our busy week and our plans to go to Liberal on Monday to get the rest of our things out of the house there, since Leah and Ryan were moving to Pampa and we wouldn’t have free storage anymore.

Around 1:00, the attending doctor came in, did whatever doctors do (he never did say much) and left. The doctor came back in about twenty minutes later, as we were getting ready to leave for the day, and announced that they were sending Mother back to Wood Memorial…today. We reminded him that the admitting doctor had told us that there was no way she was going to authorize a release until the infection was completely cleared, and Dr. Brown just said that the other doctor had spoken out of turn and he was going to sign the release. Mother would be sent back to Wood Memorial Nursing Home this afternoon with a new prescription for oral antibiotics, because he was taking her off the IV.

With all that being said and done, we grabbed what few of Mother’s things we could, asked the nurses to call us as soon as they got ready to transport Mother, and returned to the house in Mineola to await the phone call so we could be waiting at the nursing home when she arrived.

When the phone call finally came, we rushed over to the nursing home, arriving just behind the ambulance, and watched as they returned Mother to her room. She was worn out and frail from her hospital experience and we could only hope that the continued oral antibiotics and the watchful eyes of the nursing home would keep the problem from escalating again.

Obviously, the get-together with Travis and Glennis didn’t happen as planned, but we did arrange to meet under less stressful circumstances at a later time.

Friday, May 20

Today was just a day of get Mother resettled into her routine at Wood Memorial Nursing Home and making final arrangements for our upcoming trip to Liberal. It will be a “quick and dirty” trip, but it still takes lots of planning.

We made arrangements with Pastor Bagwell to use his pickup for the trip. I had considered using the new car since it has a trailer hitch, but the trailer we are going to borrow from Bob and Mary Royar at Holiday Villages is too large for the Dodge, especially with the anticipated load.

Saturday, May 21

There were lots of odds and ends to take care of today. First, I had to find the correct trailer hitch for the Dodge. Not having had a lot of experience with setting up tow vehicles, I had inadvertently picked out the correct size, but wrong style bar for the car. But, a quick trip to the local Tractor Supply Store corrected the problem.

While Barbara paid bills, packed, and did some general cleaning around the house, I got the tow package all put together, drove out to Holiday Villages to get the trailer from Bob, and then took it to the church in Yantis and parked it in the lot so we can hook it up tomorrow after church and be on our way.

When I returned to Mineola, I helped Barbara with the rest of the chores to get ready for the trip. We went to see Mother for a bit…since it was a weekend, there wasn’t much activity around there, but I think she was happy to just sit there and veg without having doctors and nurses coming around to poke and prod.

We had a really neat experience tonight. Our friends Gene and Carolyn Neyer invited us to attend a Quitman Little Theater production of “Come Blow Your Horn.” Now, we have to be honest and say that we went on a lark, not expecting to find much, but wanting to enjoy time with our friends. Boy, were we ever surprised by every aspect of the production! It seems that there is a regular circuit of local community theaters in the area, with most of them sharing their actors, if not their directors. Our eyes are wide open now, and we will be seeking out future productions in Quitman, Mineola, and the surrounding area.

Sunday, May 22

The first few hours of today followed the familiar pattern of getting ready for church, stopping by to see Mother, and then heading out to Yantis for another great sermon from Pastor David Bagwell.

Immediately after church, we hooked Bob’s trailer to David’s pickup, handed the keys to the Dodge to David, and took off for a whirlwind trip to Liberal. We made our first stop at Sonic in Sulphur Springs…obviously couldn’t go to the drive-through, but there was a large parking lot next door that accommodated the truck and trailer quite well while we walked across to order our lunch.

The next stop was at Gainesville for a nap, and then we were rolling across the countryside again through old, familiar towns and cities until we hit US 287 and went through Wichita Falls, eventually getting to Childress, where we checked in at the Super 8 for a night of rest and relaxation before continuing the trip to Liberal. We could conceivably have made it all the way to Liberal tonight, but knew if we did that, we would be completely worthless tomorrow when it came time to load the truck and trailer. Sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor!

We had brought some leftovers with us on the trip, so we settled in for an evening of snacking, watching TV, and working at our computers.

Monday, May 23

We got up at 4:00 this morning to begin the Childress to Liberal leg of the journey. After checking out of the motel, we drove up the street to find a place to fuel the truck and grab something to eat. I pulled in to a station/convenience store at the intersection of highways 83 and 287, stopped at the pump, and discovered when I got ready to fuel that I didn’t have my Discover card. Since I had used the card during the checkout, we backtracked to the motel and, sure enough, the card was still on the counter, right where I had set it when I put it down to sign the receipt…not a very auspicious start to the day.

Leaving the motel for the second time, I decided to try a different place for gas, but as I was driving up to the pump, another driver cut me off and pulled in front of me. While I was making a few choice comments, the driver then pulled away quickly, so I pulled up to the pump, only to find that it was out of service. With the trailer attached to the truck, I couldn’t do a U-turn at he pumps as the other driver did, so I decided to pull back onto 287 and go to the first place we had stopped, only to find that traffic was stacking up on both sides of the street and I couldn’t get out of the lot. This day was looking more and more like we should have stayed in bed!

We finally got onto 287, made it to the station we had been to earlier, gassed up, and then headed north on US 83 toward our old stomping grounds of Liberal, Kansas.

After stops for McBreakfast in Shamrock and more gas in Perryton, we finally made it to Ryan and Leah’s house, the one we sold them when we retired and moved away, and, with Ryan’s help, started sorting through all the things we had left there.  Ryan's help was especially appreciated because broke away from some of his own packing to assist us.  With their upcoming move to Pampa, Ryan and Leah certainly had their hands full.

What we discovered in the first hour or so was that we had left much more than we remembered, much of it which had to be re-boxed in order to withstand the ride to Mineola on the trailer. I had several large boxes of vinyl 33 1/3 records, many of which dated back to my high school days, and there were boxes and boxes of books that we had forgotten about…almost my entire collection of Stephen King and JRR Tolkien books were still stored in the garage.

The most important of the items we needed to get was a secretary that had been in the Little family since 1898 and which is traditionally passed down to the eldest grandson.  It had passed to Daddy after the death of his father, and Daddy had painstakingly refinished it, along with several other pieces of furniture from the old homestead.  Since there was no room for the piece in the motorhome and we didn't want to store it anywhere, Leah and Ryan  held on to it for us until time for them to move and downsize.  When we first brought the secretary to Liberal from Mother's house in El Paso, Barbara found a number of family heirlooms and antiques to put in it, giving it an honored place in the house.
It’s difficult, and unnecessary to recount all that we loaded in to the trailer and truck in the next couple of hours, but suffice it to say that when we finally had everything that could possibly fit in the bed of the pickup or on the trailer and and covered with a large tarp, we looked like the Joad’s leaving Oklahoma for California during the Dust Bowl days (or maybe we looked more like the Clampets, without Granny sitting in her rocking chair).
In any case, with Ryan’s tireless help, we were packed and ready to go, but first, we had to make a trip to West Middle School to see Leah, who was working there and was unable to come see us. We gave Ryan some money to go buy four Sonic meals while we set off to the schools for a short visit.
Since Leah had kids in her room and couldn’t talk for long, we said our goodbyes to Ryan and her and then drove over to the high school so I could deliver gifts to a couple of very special graduates, Levi Adams, son of the principal, Keith Adams, whom I had hired as an assistant principal and then recommended to take my place when I retired, and Livesey George, son of Lalu and Aleyamma George, who we had shepherded through the tricky course of relocation and certification as they moved from Botswana to the United States to realize their dream of teaching here.

Unfortunately, Keith was interviewing a job candidate and the Georges were in class, so I visited with Debbie Gray, my bookkeeper when I was there, left the gifts with her to be handed over as soon as possible, spoke with a couple of other folks, and then went back to the parking lot where I found Barbara talking to Charlene Plett, our good friend and the media specialist for the high school.

After hugs and promises to stay in touch, we pulled away from the school, stopped to top off the pickup’s fuel tank, and headed back south toward Childress.

One reason for stopping in Childress tonight was to have a chance to visit with one of the cousins, Rob Sandley, who is the chaplain for the prison unit that is located just outside of the town. Luckily, Rob was done with work for the day and was able to come to the motel to see us.

After a few minutes of getting caught up with each other, we began to think about food and where to get some. We tossed around several ideas and then Barbara said she just wanted to stay in the room and veg out, so she decided to order pizza for herself while Rob and I voted that we’d go out somewhere. Rob said that, believe it or not, there was a great Thai restaurant in Childress, so we went there to give it a try (and it was great…go figure…not a decent Mexican food place in town, but great Thai).

While Rob and I were chowing down on good food and having a fun time solving all the problems of the world, I got a call from Cousin Danny in Tallahassee, Florida, so for a few minutes we had a three-way cousin’s reunion via cell phone…gotta love this technology.

When Rob and I finished our meal, he drove me out to the prison unit to see where he worked, and drove us to downtown Childress, where only the locals are likely to go, since travelers generally remain on one or both of the two main highways, 287 going east and west, and 83 going north and south.

After the tour, we went back to the motel where we said out goodbyes for the evening and Barbara and I settled in to check email and Facebook entries, send a couple of updates, and then get some sleep to prepare for a l-o-n-g ride tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 24

We managed to sleep in late (for us), but were on the road again by 7:00, making our way back across north Texas.

The trip was rather uneventful, and we arrived in Mineola around 1:00, just in time to check in with Mother at Wood Memorial to let her know we were back safely. Then, it was on to the house to begin unloading the truck and trailer.

Fortunately, Cousin Ladd was available and willing to come help, and we soon had the vehicle and trailer unloaded and boxes stacked in somewhat of an order in the garage.

After putting away our travel things and getting a load of laundry going, we took a short nap before I got cleaned up and dressed to go out to Yantis to meet with the search committee and drive to Dallas for yet another interview.

As we were leaving Dallas after the interview, a huge storm broke overhead and we traveled back to Yantis in driving rain, deafening thunder, and blinding lightning. As we were driving along and I was texting Barbara about where we were, we decided that if the storm didn’t stop before we got back, I would spend the night in either Yantis or at Big V.

Luckily, we ran out of the storm around Emory, had clear sailing to Yantis, and I was able to return home around 11:00 or so, just minutes before the second wave of the storm broke over Wood County.

I found when I got home that Barbara had used her time to call Keith, the physical therapist from At-Home Healthcare to try to get some ideas about what we should be doing with Mother to improve her attitude and her motor skills. She had also called Chris about the new shed and cover at Our Little Lot, but didn’t catch him and he didn’t return the calls.

We listened to the weather news to track the storm, but decided it was moving away from us, so we gave it up for a lost cause and went to bed and crashed for the night.

Wednesday, May 25

I got up early this morning to drive back to Yantis to unhook the trailer from David’s pickup, hook it to the back of the Caliber, and return it to Bob at Holiday Villages. Note that I said that that’s what I went there to do. As with many of my plans, there was a major flaw…the handle on the jack stand was frozen and wouldn’t move either up or down. After determining that making the transfer was not going to happen, I borrowed David’s keys again and used the pickup to take the trailer back to Bob’s lot, where I used one of Bob’s jacks to lift the trailer off the hitch and then rigged some blocks for a temporary stand until the trailer could be moved to it’s regular space (Bob and Mary were gone at the time, but I left them a note telling what had happened).

With the trailer unhitched and in place on Bob’s driveway, I drove the pickup back to the church, returned David’s keys, and then hopped in the car for the return trip to Mother’s house.

When I got back to the house, I found that Barbara had had visitors during the morning. Our good friend Heidi was in town with her mother and her oldest daughter, Hannah. While they visited, Barbara decided that we needed a three-generation picture of the ladies, and the accompanying photo is the result…three really beautiful women, inside and outwardly.
Barbara and I made a jaunt to Wood Memorial to visit with Mother for a bit and observe her in physical therapy, and then we returned to the house to whip up a big family dinner. Glennis and TJ hadn’t been over to visit since Glennis arrived and we hadn’t seen Ladd and Angela for some time, so we decided today would be a good time to get the Mineola group together for food and a fun time together.

Once we got the meal cooking and or baking, we took care of some minor household chores to make the place presentable for company. We also called At-Home Healthcare for some additional advice and I decided it was time to check on the possibility and ramifications of bringing in hospice to help with Mother’s care.

Keith, the physical therapist, and told us to check out Heart-to-Heart Hospice in Tyler. His family had utilized their services and he was totally sold on them. I got their number and made the first call, not knowing even what I was asking for, other than that we needed information.

The receptionist was very kind and, after hearing what we were asking, transferred me to one of the nurses who, it turned out, had been one of the nurses who had worked with Mother at Dr. Bankhead’s office here in Mineola. Melanie listened to me stammer and blunder around and then proceeded to answer each of our questions with a compassion and professionalism that one rarely finds these days. There were no decisions to be made today - maybe not even in the near future, but there is no question in our minds as to whom we will turn if and when the time for such services comes.

Ladd, Angela, TJ, and Glennis arrived around 4:00 and we had a delightful time getting caught up on what was going on in each other’s lives (as well as enjoying another of Barbara’s delicious meals).
Tonight was mostly rest and relaxation after getting the kitchen put back in order. Our only disappointment of the day was in getting no information about when construction would start on our storage shed and patio cover.

Thursday, May 26

I went to the dermatologist in Quitman this morning for a checkup…had a couple of places on my arms frozen and was told to come back in November…good news on that count.

When I returned to the house, Barbara and I tackled the garage once again, unpacking what boxes we could from the Liberal house and sorting and restacking the others so we could at least get the car moved inside. It had been our hope that the new storage shed would be built by now so we could move all these things out there and not clutter up Mother’s place, but that evidently isn’t going to happen for a while.

We did make one trip to Wood Memorial today to see Mother. She isn’t happy with being there, but we keep stressing that she can’t come back to the house until she regains her mobility, and that won’t happen until she completes the physical therapy regimen they have planned for her. Also, it will be necessary for us to have time to line up enough competent assistance to meet her physical needs when she can return to the house…so many things that have to happen in the right sequence before we can move forward!

Lately, we have been going through old family photographs (and there are a bunch) and I’ve been scanning them into the computer so we can have multiple records to share with all the kids and grandkids.

This afternoon, I gave the scans to Barbara and she spent the evening organizing them and posting a number of Jimmy Clint’s old youth athletic team photos on his memorial Facebook page, a very bittersweet experience, but a way to bring some form of closure to the past and move ahead into the future.

Friday, May 27

Barbara and I went our separate ways today. I met a group of Patriot Guard Riders at the local McDonalds and we rode to Trenton to join up with a large contingent of East Texas PGR members to await the arrival of North Texas PGR cyclists who were escorting the remains of a U.S. Army soldier who had been taken as a POW in Korea 60 years ago and then subsequently killed by North Korean soldiers. The remains were recently discovered and identified through DNA and were returned to the United States. PFC Floyd T. Coker was flown back to the States to be repatriated at DFW, and was brought home to Paris, Texas, today for interment there. The turnout of citizens as we passed through the various communities and the extent of the honors they accorded Private Coker, his family, and the escorts, was deeply moving. I felt that if there is one place in the country that can be held up as textbook case of compassion, caring, and patriotism, it is East Texas. When I returned to the house, I couldn’t tell Barbara about the experience without tears welling up in my eyes and my voice choking.
While I was gone, Barbara worked around the house and then joined two of her friends from the Bible Study group at Yantis for a ladies luncheon at Yes, our newest local Chinese restaurant. According to all reports, a great meal and good times were shared by all.

This afternoon and evening brought more work in the garage as we sorted and resorted the things we had brought from Liberal and found places for some of them (my records, especially) in the house, and for others in the garage cabinets. This is quickly becoming an unending activity!

We visited Mother late this afternoon and then returned to rest and relax for the evening, knowing that tomorrow was going to be another busy day.

Saturday, May 28

TJ and Glennis left town this morning to get Glennis to the Tyler airport in time for her 11:00 a.m. flight back to Tallahassee.

Barbara and I spent the day working around the house and yard, trying to get the place whipped back into shape after all our various activities of the past two weeks.

Since it was a weekend and Mother didn’t have her regular routine of rehab activities at Wood Memorial, it was kind of difficult to tell how she is doing. Weekends seem to be down times for her, but there just isn’t much that can be done about that, as the staff always works shorthanded those two days.

Sunday, May 29

Barbara was worn out and feeling puny today, so she didn’t go to Sunday school and church. I made a quick trip to see Mother, and then headed out to Yantis for the morning services.

Since it was a holiday weekend and no evening services were scheduled, I returned to the house at noon and we spent the rest of the day resting and relaxing. It had been a hard week, and we were ready for our own down time.

Monday, May 30

It’s Memorial Day in the United States of America. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it originated among black and Northern white communities after the American Civil War to commemorate the fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War. In the Twentieth Century, it became a national holiday to honor all men and women of the US Armed Forces who gave their lives in defense of our country and its ideals.
As usual, the Kiwanis had already placed flags in yards throughout the community as part of their flag subscription program. For a small annual fee, the club sets stands in the yards and sets up flags on all major patriotic holidays. When the holidays are over, they come back and pick them up. Today, the streets of Mineola looked very festive as the flags waved proudly under a slightly overcast sky.

The original agenda for today called for me to take Spike to the vet and hand over a large box of newspapers that we had been saving, but since it was a holiday, the agenda fell apart. Instead, we spent the day doing things we wanted to do around the house. I washed the car and motorcycle, while Barbara did the laundry and baked brownies.

There was no need for trips to the post office or Mother’s mailbox, but we did drive over to Wood Memorial a couple of times to visit with Mother and, on the second trip, to share some of the brownies with her, a gesture that Mother greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, May 31

I got up early this morning to go to the weekly prayer meeting at Yantis FBC and then rode the cycle back to Holiday Villages to do some work around Our Little Lot, hoping against hope that maybe the work crew would show up with the steel to start construction on the shed and cover (they didn’t). However the new concrete slab was curing nicely, giving us hopes that soon the rest of the project would be underway.
Meanwhile, Barbara drove to Quitman to get the registration and tags taken care of for one of the trailers.

We met back at the house at noon and then made a run to Wood Memorial to see how Mother was doing. It was a beautiful day, and as we drove into the parking lot, we saw that Mother and her physical therapist, Lee, were sitting out on the front porch enjoying the warm sunshine and a few minutes of conversation before heading back to the PT room.
After our visit with Mother and Lee, we returned to the house for lunch, took a short nap, and then spent the afternoon on the phone taking care of other business. We had decided that we weren’t getting our money’s worth out of the insurance we had on Big V, so we called the Good Sam Club and they connected us with an agency that not only gave us better coverage, but cut the premium price by more than half as long as the rig is in storage, which it is now except for the one day a year I take it to Quitman for a new inspection sticker.

Another bit of business today was to call Heart-to-Heart Hospice in Tyler to get more information about hospice services and how to access them. After talking with the physical therapists at Wood Memorial, it is quickly becoming apparent that our dream of Mother being able to walk again, even with assistance, is fading. The Parkinsonism has taken over to the point that her legs are useless, and her incontinence issues are going from bad to worse. The major questions now center on how much assistance we can get from hospice and whether it will even be possible to serve Mother at home anywhere nearly as well as the staff at Wood Memorial Nursing Home is doing. So many questions and so few answers…we never dreamed it would come to this.

Our inquiries about hospice and the possibility that Mother might not be able to return home were met with varying opinions from family members. Thoughts on the matter ranged from outright criticism to abject apathy. It was fast becoming obvious to us that no matter what we did, someone would not agree or even care, let alone be particularly supportive, so we decided that since the matter was fully in our hands and I was legally responsible, we would do what we thought was best for Mother’s comfort and care. That didn’t mean it was something we wanted to do, and we aren’t making decisions lightly, but I am also charged morally and ethically to consider all aspects of the situation and do what I think is best for Mother, and that is what I intend to do as we continue this journey.

This evening we made deliveries of brownies to our neighbors, John and Wanda across the street, and Addie next door…also another few to Mother, who dearly loves them.

“Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant with the weak and the wrong. Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.” – Dr. Robert H. Goddard, American rocket engineer (1882 – 1945)

From Mineola and Mother’s house,

Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams

More Little Adjustments and Excitement

Sunday, May 1 – Saturday, May 14, 2011

Sunday, May 1

It was a somewhat typical Sunday (although, we are learning to redefine “typical” where it relates to our daily lives). We began the day by visiting Mother at Wood Memorial Nursing Home and then driving out to Yantis for Sunday School and church.

We met with our friends Gene and Carolyn for lunch and then returned to the house in Mineola to rest a bit and do some of the “first of the month” chores…giving the puppies their monthly medications and changing the filter in the heating/cooling system.

Later, we went back to see Mother for a few minutes and then drove back to Yantis for choir practice and the evening service.

Monday, May 2

When I woke up this morning and came into the living room, I found Spike and Bonita “spooning” in Spike’s bed. Both puppies miss their mama, and have refused to sleep in her room since the first night she was gone in March. Instead, they have made their individual spaces in the living room. Bonita can be a real witch to Spike a great deal of the time, but they do have their tender moments.
Today was a day of chores around the house. Barbara got a crock pot meal going for lunch and supper so we wouldn’t have to worry about where our meals for the day were coming from.

While Barbara paid bills and did the banking, I spent much time on the telephone calling ETMC officials about Mother’s lost glasses and waiting for return calls. Since it was pretty important to us to get the glasses situation cleared up, we didn’t want to get too far away from a phone.

This evening we went to the nursing home to be with Mother during her dinner hour. The evening meal has never been a big deal with Mother (well, at least not since she got three boys out of the house many years ago), so she is pretty much satisfied with whatever they bring her.

Tuesday, May 3

I got up early this morning to attend prayer meeting at Yantis. Meanwhile, Barbara stayed at home and worked on gathering and editing pictures for journal entries that we had in progress…she’s really good at the multi-tasking stuff.

Business today included calling Eye Associates in Tyler to have them fax Mother’s latest prescription to the Walmart eye center in Mineola and working with the staff at Wood Memorial to make sure that Mother would have transportation to a scheduled appointment with Dr. Beck in Tyler tomorrow.

Barbara took a break around noon to join our friend Heidi for lunch and some shop-looking while I stayed around the house to do some much-needed yard work.

Wednesday, May 4

We spent the morning working around the house. Around 10:00, I rode the motorcycle over to Wood Memorial to make sure they got Mother loaded in the bus and on the way to Tyler for her appointment. I followed on the cycle and then stayed with Mother while we waited for Dr. Beck to get around to seeing her. When we finally got into the office, we found that Mother’s broken foot had healed nicely and she wouldn’t have to wear the special boot any longer. She was really glad of that!
I more or less followed the bus back to Mineola so we could watch Gene Neyer play his accordion for the folks at Wood Memorial. Mother was so worn out that she went straight to her room and fell asleep, But Barbara and I stayed around to hear Gene and visit with Carolyn.
TJ and Arianna also stopped by to see Mother this afternoon and to catch part of Gene’s performance. Arianna like to come see “Aunt Sister,” and seems to be very much at home among the “older set.”
We were pleased to find that Wood Memorial offers many opportunities for the residents to get out and socialize if they so desire, and most residents seem to enjoy the various musical groups that come in from time to time.

With the excitement of the day over, we spent the evening in separate corners of the house. Barbara worked on journal entries while I tackled the desk in Mother’s room and tried to make sense of the piles of receipts and important papers that I had been stacking.

Thursday, May 5

Cinco de Mayo found us in Mother’s room, cleaning out her big walk-in closet and trying to make sense and order of everything in it. Because Mother was a child of the depression, she has never been able to throw anything away, so our foray into the closet was a real history lesson for both of us. At the end of the day, everything was either organized on shelves and racks in the closet, or in boxes set aside for storage.

Friday, May 6

This morning I went out to Our Little Lot to visit with Chris Rowan of CD’s Cabins and Covers about a project that we wanted him to do. The cover that he put over Big V last year was very nice, but we decided we wanted to add on a deck and storeroom, and I had to give Chris an idea of what we wanted so he could design and price it for us.

Barbara stayed in town to visit Mother this morning and then return to the house to cook, pay bills, and handle regular household chores (like keeping up with Spike and Bonita).

When I got back to town, I worked around the house for a bit and then went to see Mother before returning to the house where we spent a quiet evening.

Saturday, May 7

Barbara stayed in Mineola today to keep the home fires burning, while I rode the cycle to Marshall to take part in my first mission with the East Texas Patriot Guard Riders, a funeral service for U.S. Army veteran of the Viet Nam War.
When I called Barbara around 2:00 p.m. to let Barbara know I was getting ready to return to Mineola, she told me that our first hummingbird of the season had arrived. Guess it’s time to cook up a recipe of the special hummingbird feeder brew that Jean Terpening gave us.

The trip back to Mineola was uneventful and I arrived around 4:00, with time to visit Mother for a few minutes before heading for home for the evening.

Sunday, May 8

Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere!!!

This was about as normal as Sunday as we are likely to have…visited Mother and then drove to Yantis for Sunday school and church. We then returned to the nursing home with a take-out dinner to share with Mother and TJ in the dining room. Ladd and Madelyn dropped by for a few minutes and we all had a nice little visit.
Since we didn’t have church tonight, we spent the afternoon napping and then got up and worked around the house and watched a little TV.

Monday, May 9

We got up this morning, had a little breakfast, took care of the puppies, and then headed out to Our Little Lot for another meeting with Chris to finalize the plans for the next stage of construction. By the time we were finished, we agreed that we’d pour a 10’ X 35’ slab directly adjacent to the slab that we already have, cover it with steel, and have an enclosed 10’ X 14 ‘ enclosed storage room on the back of the slab.

As soon as Chris left, we went to the clubhouse for the annual Property Owners Association meeting. After last year’s meeting, when I was elected to the board of directors, I knew we would be in for some fireworks. Sure enough, we weren’t disappointed. When Jack Roe, president of Holiday Villages of Lake Fork announced that I would chair a committee to oversee the transition of Lake Fork HV from corporate management to local management, the shouting started. You had to be there to get the full benefit of the brouhaha, but the main complaint against me being on the board is that Barbara and I don’t live on property fulltime. We explained our situation (for about the hundredth time), but it didn’t do much good among those whose minds were already made up.

There were some rather testy exchanges among some of the folks when the meeting was over, but we also had some nice comments and promises of cooperation before we finally had to leave and return to Mineola to check on Mother and review all that had been done today.

Tuesday, May 10

I went to prayer meeting at the church early this morning and then returned to the house, where Barbara and I spent the biggest part of the day cleaning house, doing laundry, paying bills, and working in the yard. Spring is in full bloom, and the front and back yards require mowing twice a week.

Barbara did some shopping and found a really nice little photo album that we loaded with pictures of kids and grandkids so Mother would have pictures to look at and show off to visitors at the nursing home.

Mother had a special visitor this morning. Frida, a missionary to Colombia, once lived with Mother in El Paso while she was studying there. Frida calls Mother, “Mama Edith,” and has kept up with her over the years. Frida is on furlough now and living in Dallas until she returns to the mission field in another month or so.
Mother and Frida were having such a good time visiting and reliving their days together that Barbara and I decided to take a picture of them and then leave them alone to reminisce.

Mother seems to be settling in well at Wood Memorial. Our goal is that after a month of intensive rehab, we will be able to bring her home. Her room at the house is reorganized so that she will need to take only 20 steps to get from her bed to the bathroom or her lift chair, where she will be able to watch her favorite TV programs in comfort. Our mantra is, “20 steps, 20 steps, 20 steps.”

I went back to Yantis tonight to meet with the newly-elected search committee for a fulltime youth pastor. Our youth group is growing, and although we have excellent volunteer workers, the church voted to search for a fulltime person to head the youth programs.

On the way to Yantis, I stopped at Our Little Lot to see if any work had been accomplished. The concrete crew had been there sometime during the day and had begun moving dirt to level out the area for the new pad. It wasn’t very pretty, but it was evidence that the project is now underway!
Wednesday, May 11

Today was fairly quiet…made a trip to see Mother this morning to see how she was doing with physical therapy.

We went to the optometrist this afternoon…our first visit to one of those doctors in nearly five years. Our prescriptions had definitely changed since retirement, so we bit the bullet and went to the optical shop at Walmart. Barbara found a set of frames she really liked, but I couldn’t find anything there that would handle my trifocals. Around 4:30, we drove out toward Holiday Villages to an optician’s office where I found exactly what I needed. Now, we just both wait until our new eyes arrive.

Jaycie called this evening to say that while she and a friend were out at the Little League park in Lubbock, they found a memorial brick that someone had placed in memory of Jimmy Clint and his service to youth and the southwest Little League. Jaycie sent us a picture that she was able to take with her cell phone camera.
Thursday, May 12

Today was relatively calm, which was greatly appreciated. We made a couple of trips to see Mother and make sure she was continuing to get settled in to her temporary digs at Wood Memorial Nursing Home. Mother isn’t crazy about the physical therapy, but we keep reminding her that it is necessary if she is to be able to walk again, a prerequisite for returning to her house so we can eventually care for her there.

We recently received a flyer from Holiday Villages announcing their latest appreciation gift, a deluxe smoker. We’ve never attempted using a smoker, but figured, “what the heck,” and decided to drive out to the park to claim one of the gifts.

Our first stop was at Our Little Lot to see what, if any effect last night’s rains had on our property. After viewing the dirt that had been placed next to the slap, we just christened it, “Our Little Mud Pit.” So much for being underway with the project, as it will take at least a couple more days of sunshine and warm weather before the crew can get back to work.
We left the lot, went to the sales office to claim our gift, and then took it home and placed the box next to the box containing the turkey cooker that we had previously received. One of these days I’ll put them together and see what we really have.

Today was the opening of the May Days celebration at the civic center park. We haven’t done much fun stuff since we returned from our Virginia trip, so we drove down to the park and walked around to see what was there. Several booths were set up, but we didn’t see anything that we couldn’t live without. The carnival rides hadn’t been set up yet, so it was pretty quiet. We had hoped to at least find something good to eat for supper, but nothing hit our fancy, so we made our way back out of the park and returned home to find something to eat.

Friday, May 13

We got around a little later than usual this morning, went to the nursing home to see how Mother was doing, and then drove out to Our Little Lot to see what, if any, progress was being made on our new construction. With no sign of anything happening there, we stayed around while we made calls to Chris to get an indication of when work would start. We also spent some time moving things around on the existing pad so there would be nothing in the way when the workers arrived to start the dirt work prior to pouring the concrete.

When we returned home, we had a light lunch and then settled in for our afternoon nap, and that’s when Friday the 13th kicked in with a vengeance.

At two o’clock, we received a phone call from the nurse’s station at Wood Memorial. The head nurse reported that she had checked on Mother and found her running a fever and unresponsive to any stimuli. She wanted to know if they should transport Mother to ETMC in Tyler. I said that they should do that, and Barbara and I immediately got ready for another trip…first to the nursing home to get more details, and then to Tyler.

When we got to Wood Memorial, the nurse told us that Mother was just not responding to anything, but that she felt she needed to be admitted through the emergency room as soon as possible. Arrangements were made, Mother was put on a gurney and loaded into the ambulance, and we began the trip.

When we arrived at ETMC, Mother was immediately assigned to an examining room (a great improvement over the last visit, when she had to stay in the waiting room for nearly three hours), and the nurses started checking vital signs and drawing blood for tests. Pretty soon, they inserted a catheter and started drawing off some of the nastiest fluid we’ve ever seen.

It turned out that Mother had a severe urinary tract infection, something that drives her over the edge, mentally. Not only that, the infection was on the verge of turning into sepsis. We were told that if the nurse at Wood Memorial hadn’t noticed the problem and reported it to us, Mother probably wouldn’t have survived the night. We weren’t pleased about Mother’s condition, but we were so very pleased with the caring and insightful nursing staff at Wood Memorial!

We spent the afternoon and evening in the emergency room with Mother until the doctor told us around 9:00 that they were still waiting on a room, and that we might as well return to Mineola for the night. We told Mother where she was and what was going on, and she responded, but we found later that she had absolutely no recollection of being in the emergency room.

Knowing that Mother was in good hands with the ETMC staff, we said our goodbyes and returned to the house in Mineola to take care of Spike and Bonita, and then crash for the night.

Saturday, May 14

Barbara and I went our separate ways (kind of) today. I had a Patriot Guard Rider function in Poynor, a funeral for a young navy veteran who had been killed in a motorcycle accident earlier in the week. I rode the cycle to Tyler and Barbara followed me in the car, but as I continued to Poynor, Barbara went to ETMC to spend the morning with Mother and then do some shopping before she returned to the house in Mineola.

I met up with the other PGR members at the high school in Poynor (the whole community turned out for the funeral, and the school was the only building in the town that was large enough to hold the crowd) and stood with the flag line, but begged off the ride to the cemetery so I could ride back to the hospital in Tyler to find out what was going on with Mother.

Mother was still unresponsive when I got there, but the nursing staff said she was becoming more stable and they were continuing to run tests. There was some indication that Mother had suffered a minor heart attack during all this mess, but the doctors were less concerned with that than they were about the extent of the urinary tract infection.

When I had finished sitting with Mother for a while and talking to the nursing staff, I once again climbed on the cycle and made the trip back to Mineola where we spent a quiet evening contemplating the events and possible ramifications of the past 30 hours.

“The original definition of courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” – Brene’ Brown

From Mother’s house in Mineola,

Jim/Dad/Gramps and Barbara/Mom/Grams

A Big Little Change in Our Lives

Saturday, April 16 – Saturday, April 30, 2011

When we first made arrangements for Mother to stay at Colonial Nursing Home for a month of respite care, it was with the idea that we would get her when we returned from our trip, return to the house in Mineola, and pick up our lives where we left off a month ago.

As plans go, it was a fine one, but it immediately took a wrong turn and we soon found ourselves involved in something that was way beyond our capabilities.

We spent a large part of Saturday getting the house ready for Mother’s return and then a little after 2:00, Ladd followed us to Lindale and we began taking Mother’s things out of her room and loading them in the pickup and car for the return to Mineola.

We had told Mother that she needed to be able to walk in order to return home. We found that she not only couldn’t walk by herself, she could hardly stand, let alone walk. Because we had talked so much about getting Mother home today, I made the administrative decision (a very questionable one) to follow through with the plans. I knew that Barbara did not agree with my plan, but I felt that I had to follow through on my promise to Mother, and I really felt that once she was out of the nursing home and back in her own house and surroundings, she would get better.

So, we all trekked back to the house in Mineola, where Ladd helped me get Mother out of the car, into her wheelchair, and back to her room, where the two of us wrestled her into her bed. Through the whole process, Mother was nothing more than 131 pounds of dead weight, completely unable to help us in any way.

By the time we got the car and pickup unloaded and the furniture and clothing put back in place, Angela, who is a nurse, came to the house and saw what was going on. We were all agreed that Barbara and I were in way over our heads and would not be able to continue the type of care that we had been giving before our trip.

By nighttime, we were worn out from making the move and worrying about how we were going to be able to get through the next phase of care giving for Mother, an obviously overwhelming task.

On Sunday, we made arrangements with Sophie to come in and stay with Mother while we went to Sunday school and church at Yantis. We returned home at noon, took a little nap, and then went back to church at night for the presentation of the Easter Cantata.

This was, perhaps, the last “normal” day we would have for quite a while. It became increasingly obvious that Sophie would not be able to assist Mother as she had been doing, and we would not be able to do all the things that needed to be done. Not only was Mother unable to walk at all, she couldn’t help turn herself over, and she was incontinent, requiring more moving around so we could clean her and change bedding.

To top everything off, Barbara was called for jury duty in Quitman early Monday morning. I stayed at the house to do the best I could to take care of Mother…also made calls to have At-Home Healthcare to come out tomorrow to do a thorough evaluation of Mother and our circumstances so we could get some additional assistance.

I also began making calls to the Neurology Center at East Texas Medical Center in Tyler to get an appointment with Dr. Plotkin to find out what part of Mother’s condition was directly related to her Parkinsonism. Unfortunately, my calls today all went to answering machines, so at the end of the day, we didn’t know any more than at the beginning.

On the bright side, Barbara was able to get a waiver on this jury duty call after explaining our situation to the judge. She didn’t ask for a hardship dismissal, just a waiver for this call.

One of the nurses from At-Home Healthcare came by to check on Mother and read all her vital signs, but she was unable to give any prognosis about what was going on.

When Barbara got home, we went to work on all the different aspects of caring for Mother…fixing meals…doing laundry…doing our best to change her and keep her clean and dry, etc. All the while, we were learning that we were in deep trouble, and we didn’t know how we were going to get out of it, both for ourselves and for Mother.

Tuesday brought more of the same…no answers from Dr. Plotkin’s office, but Kelly, from At-Home Healthcare, came by to do an evaluation to determine what additional resources we might have available. Kelly told us that he would get to work on lining up aides to come help take care of Mother, but there was a shortage AND we were headed into a holiday weekend, but he thought he could find someone to come in.

On Wednesday, one of the aides from At-Home healthcare arrived to assist us, but she was also stymied by Mother’s condition. We also had a visit from Keith, the physical therapist. We have learned that if anyone can get Mother’s attention and cooperation, it is Keith, but even he, who was hopeful of helping Mother restore some of her previous physical abilities, was concerned about the shape she was in.

I was finally able to contact the folks in Dr. Plotkin’s office, but they said there was nothing they could do for Mother until she was checked out at the hospital to rule out any infections she might have that would mask the Parkinsonism. They suggested that we get Mother to the emergency room at ETMC in Tyler, but by the time this all took place, we couldn’t arrange transportation and getting her into our car was not an option.

Thursday morning brought us another aide, but it was obvious that Mother’s condition was deteriorating…she was unresponsive to everything we said and tried. I called Dr. Plotkin’s office and they made arrangements for us to get Mother admitted to ETMC Emergency. At-Home Healthcare gave us the number to call for a transportation service, so I called, found out what time they could be at the house, and then we set about packing Mother’s things for yet another hospital visit.

We got Mother to the emergency room at 1:00 p.m. and her condition was so obviously bad that they soon found a bed for her to lie in, even though we still had to wait in the main waiting room for two more hours while they handled all the patients who were in the examining room.

They finally got Mother into an examining room at 4:45 and we sat with her until 9:00 p.m., when they officially admitted her to the hospital for more tests and observation. By that time, we were completely exhausted, but managed to make our way back to Mineola to fall into bed and a deep sleep.

On Friday, we began five days of driving between Mineola and Tyler at least one and sometimes twice a day to check on Mother. We had thought we might board the puppies at the vet in Mineola and just overnight it in Tyler as long as necessary, but the vet hotel was booked solid, so we decided we’d just have to commute.

As it turned out, Mother had a severe urinary tract infection, along with other complications, and for most of the five days she was mostly non-responsive when we were there. The doctors told us upfront that there was no way we would be able to take care of Mother when they released her, and that we needed to spend out time finding a suitable nursing home and rehab center.

Since we did not want to put Mother back at Colonial, we spent a couple of days looking at some of the many nursing homes in Tyler, but decided they just didn’t fit out needs. We also checked out a place in Quitman and thought it might be suitable, but it didn’t have a private room available. We told them we’d check out some other places, but they might expect to be hearing from us again.

After looking at all the different homes, we finally decided to look at the two homes in Mineola, one of which we had looked at before leaving on our trip to Virginia. We returned to it, took about five steps inside, and immediately turned around and walked out. One of the things we learned through the process was that our noses could tell us immediately where we didn’t want Mother to be, and this particular place let us know in just that way.

On Saturday, we went to Wood Memorial Nursing Home, a place that had not been recommended by Dr. Bankhead last month. We were immediately impressed with the cleanliness of the place and the friendliness of the people who worked there. We spent some time with the head nurse for the weekend and she told us that she had looked all over for a place for her mother, and Wood Memorial is what she chose…a pretty high recommendation, we thought.

Sunday was Easter, perhaps the most normal day we had spent in a long time. We went to the sunrise service out at Lake Fork and then to the regular service. Afterwards, we drove to Tyler to check on Mother and then back to the house to take a long nap and then spend the evening taking care of the house, yard, and business issues.
Monday morning found us back at Wood Memorial Nursing Home to take another guided tour of the facilities and to talk to Ashley, the admissions officer. I took all of the paperwork along to give Ashley the best representation of Mother’s condition that I could. After visiting for a half hour or so, Ashley said she thought there would be a semi-private room available, but she would have to run the paperwork past her bosses for final approval of any admission.

Later in the morning we went to Tyler, stopping first at Colonial Nursing Home in Lindale to wrap up so paperwork there. When we got to Tyler, we found that Mother was still not very responsive to anyone, but the nurses assured us that she had been eating well and that tests were showing some improvement in the infection.

While we were there, we did find out that Wood Memorial was going to admit Mother upon her release from the hospital. In a sense, that was a great relief, but we continued under the burden of guilt of not being able to do what we had wanted for Mother – to keep her in her own house. We had made the promise that we would take care of her as long as we could, never realizing that the day would come when “taking care” meant relinquishing the direct care giving to the professionals who could do it much better than we could.

On Tuesday, I got up early and drove out to Yantis for our weekly prayer meeting. It would be an understatement to say that we were in need or prayers ourselves…we were feeling pretty low and lost by now, but we did at least have a place where Mother might be able to get better.

When I got back to Mineola, we had some breakfast, then got cleaned up and drove back to Tyler (the car was running on auto pilot by then). We visited Mother for a bit, left for a while to go out and have some lunch, and then returned to see Mother and visit with the nurses to find out what was going on. They again assured us that the infection was clearing up and they felt that Mother could be released tomorrow with a new regimen of meds for her Parkinsonism and the persistent urinary tract infection.

We returned to Mineola and began gathering things to take to Wood Memorial to get Mother’s room set up for her anticipated arrival tomorrow.

I called the nursing station at ETMC Wednesday morning to see if Mother was still on schedule to be transferred to Wood Memorial today and whether we needed to come over. The nurses said that they had everything under control…ETMC would transport Mother this afternoon and it wouldn’t be necessary for us to come over.

With that bit of information discovered, we set about to take care of regular business around the place. Barbara took care of paying bills while I took the car to the Dodge place to be serviced.

When we found that Mother was on the way to Mineola, we went back to Wood Memorial to await her arrival. I took care of some remaining paperwork with the admissions and financial offices and Barbara oversaw the operation of getting Mother transferred from the bus to her new room. One thing we immediately discovered was that Mother didn’t have her glasses with her. They were nowhere to be found in her personal effects and the driver of the ambulance couldn’t find them anywhere…just another mystery to deal with later.

Thursday morning I made a series of phone calls to ETMC regarding Mother’s glasses. Since they weren’t found in any of Mother’s personal effects, and the ambulance drivers couldn’t find them, the hospital assumed the responsibility for replacing them. We would be jumping through hoops for a while, but we would be able to get some new glasses.

This afternoon we went through Mother’s closet and selected clothes to take to her. We tried to stay out of the way at the nursing home as much as possible today so Mother could get acclimated to her new surroundings.

Friday was furniture moving day at the house. Since we had every intention of getting Mother through rehab and bringing her back home in another month, we rearranged the furniture in her room so it would be much more convenient for her to walk from her bed to the bathroom and to her recliner. Of course, moving furniture also meant dusting, cleaning, and vacuuming, but once it was done, we began to wonder why we had never set the room up like that before…all of a sudden it was very open, roomy, and cheery.

Around noon we stopped work to drive out to Holiday Villages to meet with Jack Roe, the president of Holiday Villages Lake Fork. Jack is also a member of the board of directors, and he wanted to know if I, as a member of the board, would serve as the chair of a committee to oversee the transfer of the operations of HV Lake Fork from the Dallas office to the Lake Fork Property Owners. After many questions from both of us, I agreed to take on the task, never anticipating what that would entail down the road. But, we did have a nice lunch together before heading back to Mineola to see Mother for a few minutes and then returning to the house to finish the job we had started in Mother’s room this morning.

We all know how room rearranging goes…one thing always leads to another, and on Saturday morning we discovered that we wanted to change some of the things we had done yesterday. Luckily, none of it involved heavy physical labor, and soon we had the room looking just the way we needed it to be for Mother to return after her physical rehabilitation.

After a very hectic two weeks, it looked like things were going to finally calm down a bit and we were all going to get back to normal, whatever that is.

“Getting married and becoming a spouse. Giving birth and becoming a parent. Watching your adult children move away and becoming an empty nester. Seeing your parents age and becoming a family caregiver. These are all major life transitions that schools don’t give classes in! Most of us never have the opportunity to learn the basic how-to’s about these long-lasting roles and responsibilities we take on during our lives.” – Linda Abbit

Worn and weary, but still hopeful,

Jim/Dad/Gramps & Barbara/Mom/Grams