Wednesday, December 8 – Tuesday, December 14
Wednesday, December 8
Today started simply enough…just another day in Mineola as we woke up from a somewhat sleepless night for both of us; that is, until the phone rang at 7:45 and we began what was to become a downward spiral that rocked us to the core.
Jaycie called at 7:45 to ask if we had talked to her daddy lately. Barbara told her that we had talked to him Saturday night and had tried to call him last night, but he hadn’t answered and hadn’t returned the call. Then Jaycie said that she had been trying four times a day for the last two days to contact Jimmy, but he hadn’t answered. Barbara told her that we would check into it and let her know what we found out.
We spent the next couple of hours texting, calling, and sending email messages, but to no avail. Then, we began calling Jimmy’s friends to see if they had heard anything from him. When that didn’t give us any information, I called UMC to see if by any chance Jimmy had been admitted through the emergency room, something that has happened several times in the last year and a half.
Time was passing and we weren’t hearing anything, so around 11:00 I called the Lubbock Police Department, explained the situation and the fact that Jimmy had been quite ill, and asked if someone could go to the house and check. The lady I spoke to said that those kinds of checks were handled by EMS and transferred my call there. Once again I explained the situation and was told that a supervisor would go to the house and check. Meanwhile, I called Jimmy’s friend Kyle and asked if he could go be the house to see what he could find out. Kyle was tied up at work at the time, but promised to go to the house as soon as possible.
When we still hadn’t heard anything by noon, I again called LPD, got patched through to EMS, and learned that someone had gone to the house to check, but after looking through the uncovered windows and knocking on doors, left because they couldn’t do a forced entry unless they saw someone in distress.
At that point I called Kyle again and he said he was on his way to the house. Meanwhile, he was trying to contact Roger, Jimmy’s boss and the owner of the house to get permission to make a forced entry. When Kyle called to let me know he was at the house, I told him that there were no keys, but that he could get through the back door more easily than the others, and to go ahead and kick it in if necessary and I would pay for the replacement.
As it turned out, a side door leading into a converted garage space was unlocked. Kyle entered there and talked to me as he went through the house. I heard him calling, “Jimmy…Jimmy, are you here,” and then, “Oh, my God…Jimmy, Jimmy…he’s blue.” And then began our descent into a nightmare that no parent should ever experience as I went outside to tell Barbara what Kyle had found.
Kyle immediately called LPD and EMS and then stayed in touch with us as they arrived and began doing their work. When Kyle again confirmed that Jimmy was dead, we immediately went to Mother and told her what had happened and that we had to go to Lubbock. Mother was shocked by the news and immediately said, “Of course you must go.”
The next several hours were a blur as we began contacting the kids and others that needed to know what was happening. My first call was to Pastor David to tell him about Jimmy and let him know that I would not be able to sing with the choir when they presented the cantata Sunday; and, I asked him to let some of the other church members know what we were doing.
While Barbara handled things here at the house…calling Sophie to make arrangements to stay with Mother, getting clothes ready, etc., I drove out to Our Little Lot at Holiday Villages to get some things we would need for the trip and make sure that Big V was buttoned down for the cold spell that the weatherman was promising.
By the time I had shared the news with our neighbors Gary and Linda Fox and Wes and Linda Mann and returned to the house, David was waiting at the house to visit and pray with us. (Our friend Heidi had also come by while I was gone. Though Heidi came for an entirely different reason, we are convinced that God led her to Barbara at a time when she needed her the most!) When David left, we continued getting everything put together and packed in the Vibe and were finally ready to leave Mineola at 5:30, secure in the knowledge that Mother would be taken well care of, but totally unaware of what we would find or do when we arrived in Lubbock.
One of the first people Barbara called was Dandy, our friend who lives in Abilene. Dandy immediately told us that we were welcome to stay at her house tonight if we could make it that far. We told her that we would aim for Abilene to night, but that we were running on adrenaline and would stop earlier if necessary.
As it was, the adrenaline held out as we drove the five hours out I-20 with phones ringing and multiple conversations taking place as we explained to the best of our ability what had happened and what we were doing.
We stopped briefly along the way to get some fast food and then trucked on across Texas, arriving at Dandy’s house at 10:45. None of us got much sleep during the night, but at least we were off the highway and with a good friend who provided much comfort for us.
Thursday, December 9
We were up early this morning and on the road by 8:00, a little rested, but still in a state of shock from all that has transpired in the last 20 or so hours. We said our thanks and goodbyes to Dandy and drove down the road to a Flying J truck stop to gas up the Vibe and call Cathey to let her know we were on the way and make sure we were all on the same page with what we were doing today.
Our first stop, when we arrived in Lubbock around 10:15, was at the medical examiners office. We weren’t even sure of what our questions were, but the ladies who greeted us were kind and compassionate and explained that we needed to find the funeral home we wanted to us and the funeral home would contact the ME office to get Jimmy’s body and any information the ME might have. They couldn’t give us a time of release, but were very understanding of our circumstances.
We got back into the Vibe and immediately called Jerry Terpening in Artesia to get some information about funeral homes in Lubbock. Since Jerry is a mortician and very familiar with several of the Lubbock mortuaries, we thought he’d be our natural source of information.
Jerry first recommended a place but then said that they only worked with funeral homes and not the public. He did caution us that Resthaven was the most expensive mortuary and that we should probably look elsewhere. We had also been told about a mortuary out on 82nd Street and asked if he knew anything about it. Jerry, being the computer guru that he is, immediately looked it up, checked services and prices, and told us that Lake Ridge offered the same services he did and that the pricing was comparable. He was impressed enough with the web page and the information there that he recommended we check it out.
Before doing anything else, we drove to Jimmy’s house on 40th street to go through his things and pick out items that we had given or loaned him when he set up his previous apartment and this house. Fortunately, we had been able to loan him quite a few things from Big V and Cathey told us to go ahead and get them before she went to the house to sort through Jimmy’s things.
As a side note, we had assumed that once again we were going to have to go through all Jimmy’s things, sort them out, and dispose of them in one way or another. However, we learned that legally, Jaycie was Jimmy’s sole heir and that as Jaycie’s parent and guardian, Cathey was entitled to receive and keep or dispose of all of Jimmy’s possessions. Cathey told us this morning that she and Jaycie would be going through everything except what belonged to us, relieving us of the burden of going through it one more time.
With our hearts heavy at the thought of the chores ahead of us, we made it out to 82nd Street and the Lake Ridge Chapel, where we were greeted with love, compassion, and a great deal more understanding than we expected.
LeeAnn Malone worked with us for the next several hours as we told her about Jimmy and what had happened to him and how, as much as we hated to put a price tag on something of this nature, we were operating on a shoestring budget from the burial policy that Barbara had purchased for each of her children many years ago. LeeAnn, it turned out, was one of several angels that we encountered during this sad and hectic time. She answered every question and walked through every possible scenario with us, explaining all along what they could do and how they would handle each phase of the process. We hadn’t been talking very long when we both decided that Lake Ridge was the place that we wanted to handle all the arrangements. As soon as we told LeeAnn that, she contacted the medical examiner’s office and started that part of the business.
After weighing all options, we decided that the only practical thing to do would be to have a cremation and a memorial service, to be followed with a burial of the cremains either on Monday or at a time in the future when the family could gather again for a private service. It wasn’t what we wanted, but it was all that made sense when we considered all the circumstances.
We finished hashing out the details and then called Cathey to see if she and Jaycie could meet with LeeAnn and us around 4:00 to go over all the plans and answer any questions. We then asked LeeAnn if there were any motels close by, as we hadn’t made any lodging arrangements for the night. She recommended a couple of places to check out and gave us some general directions, but when we went to look for them, we got totally lost in the Lubbock traffic and construction and found ourselves at the intersection of Slide Road and the Loop, where we noticed that the old Barcelona Inn was now an Embassy Suites hotel. I asked Barbara if she wanted me to check rates and availability. She said go ahead, but even if there were rooms available, they would be way more than our budget would allow.
So, I parked in the lot, left Barbara to her thoughts, and went inside the Embassy Suites to ask my questions. The girl at the desk said that they did have suites available. She also said that the rate for the night would be $139 and asked if we were there for the LCU graduation. I said, “No, we’re in town to bury our son.”
Without even looking up, the girl asked me to wait a minute, turned and went into the manager’s office, and returned in a minute to tell me that the rate for the night would be $89, and the rooms for the weekend (which I had also asked about) would be $77. I made the reservations for tonight, Saturday, and Sunday (we were planning to go to Artesia as soon as we finished meeting with Cathey and Jaycie), and returned to the car to tell Barbara that I had met yet another angel.
We decided that since we hadn’t eaten lately, we would go to a nearby Chick-Filet (something we almost never get to do) to rest a bit and get something in our stomachs. Then, it was back to the funeral home to await our meeting.
When Cathey, her brother David, and Jaycie arrived, we sat down with LeeAnn and discussed the arrangements we had made. Cathey and Jaycie were understandably upset about the cremation, but after tears and talking, Cathey agreed that it was all we could do. Cathey then asked about a viewing during the visitation, and we said that hadn’t been included in the arrangements because when we told LeeAnn this morning that Jimmy probably died on Sunday and wasn’t found until Wednesday noon, she said there would be no way he could be prepared for viewing.
LeeAnn then told us all that she had received Jimmy’s body from the medical examiner just a few minutes before we arrived for the meeting and he was remarkably well preserved; well enough, that she could prepare him for viewing, but he would have to be embalmed, something we hadn’t discussed in this morning’s plans.
We quickly agreed that we could include the embalming cost with the available insurance money if it meant that there could be a viewing when Jimmy’s friends and family came to pay their last respects.
From there we moved through all the other details and arrangements, eventually reaching consensus, if not total agreement. None of us wanted to be doing this, but all of us wanted to do the best we could.
By the time we finished the meeting and left the funeral home, we decided that as much as we wanted to be with our Artesia family, the Terpenings, tomorrow night, there was way too much to do in Lubbock, so we returned to Embassy Suites, added Friday night to our reservations, carted in our luggage, and set up our room as a headquarters for family and friends to meet during the coming days.
As we were bringing everything in, we noticed that there was a Manager’s Special hospitality area for all guests of the hotel. We checked it out and found a table full of delicious food ready to eat in the atrium or be taken to our room. We chose to load our plates and take the food to the room where we could eat in comfort while we made telephone calls to family and friends around the country.
Friday, December 10
I awoke this morning to hear Barbara talking on the telephone and finally figured out that she was talking to a Sprint customer service representative. Barbara had realized during the night that we were only halfway through our billing cycle and were nearly out of our minutes for the month with about a kazillion more calls to make in the next few days and after we return to Mineola. I can’t remember who she talked to, but after explaining out situation, the service rep added an additional 300 free minutes to tide us over…yet another of the many angels we were to meet during this time. Now when we hear someone speak of problems with Sprint, we speak right up and tell them how Sprint has helped us through several troublesome situations in the past year…Sprint is tops in our book!
We just kind of piddled around for a while before we realized that we were supposed to be at St. Luke’s United Methodist church at 9:00 to meet with Cathey and the minister to discuss the funeral service. So, we quickly finished preparations for the day, hopped in the Vibe, and drove across town as quickly as we could to try to find the church. We had a general idea, but got generally lost before getting back in the right neighborhood.
We got to the church in time to introduce ourselves to Pastor Matt Wolfington and visit with him a bit before Cathey arrived with a couple of friends of hers and Jimmy. Kyle and Chris had been real rocks for us during the 14 months and we were more than pleased to have them with us to plan the service.
While Matt had had several very personal meetings with Jimmy (Jimmy had told us of meeting with Matt and how he was helping Jimmy to grow spiritually), he needed additional background information and stories to share with family and friends at the service. Each of us shared stories about our relationship with Jimmy and we found that for the first time since Wednesday at noon, we were able to talk about Jimmy’s life, and not just make plans for his funeral. We laughed and we cried together as we remembered special times and events and by the time we were finished, Matt had more than enough information to round out what he had already learned from his relationship with Jimmy.
As we were leaving the church, Barbara realized that she didn’t have her cell phone with her inside and she was supposed to call LeeAnn at the funeral home about finalizing some arrangements there. As soon as we got in the car she checked her phone and found several voice mails from LeeAnn, each more urgent than the previous one.
When she got through to LeeAnn, she was told that there was a huge problem in the arrangements, not with them, but with Resthaven Cemetery, and we all needed to meet as soon as possible. We called Cathey to let her know that we needed to meet and then headed out to Lake Ridge to see what had gone wrong now.
What had gone wrong was that we had forgotten that the double plot that Barbara and the kids had picked out many years ago for Henry was an “apartment” plot instead of side-by-side. That meant that even though we only needed to bury an urn, the cemetery would have to do all the work of uncovering the entire grave at a cost of more than $1,500 more than we anticipated. LeeAnn told us that since the cemetery cost was going to be so much higher, if we wanted, we could change from a cremation to a standard burial and she would sell us the casket and make the change in services for only $500 more than what she had quoted for the cremation.
When Cathey arrived, we told her the news, which was a welcome change for all of us. No one really wanted the cremation in the first place; it was a financial decision. We told Cathey we could handle the additional charge through the burial insurance, but we would have to change nearly all the plans that had been made but not, fortunately, published anywhere. Instead of a viewing on Saturday, a cremation on Sunday, and a burial on Monday, we would be able to move the viewing to Sunday (giving more family and friends time to get to Lubbock), a family graveside service Monday at 10:00, and a memorial service at the church immediately following the graveside service; all in all, a much more satisfactory set of arrangements for all of us.
With a new set of plans in mind, Barbara and I drove back to Jimmy’s house to locate sports memorabilia and a few other special items to place in the viewing room in lieu of a family casket spray. Anyone who knew Jimmy knew he wasn’t a flower kind of guy, and all who came to the visitation would appreciate seeing the sports items (including the autographed jersey worn by Pete Rose, Jimmy’s all-time favorite baseball player.)
Cathey had a couple of other errands to run and then met us at the house and we went through box after box to find just what we all thought would be appropriate. When we had found everything we wanted, Barbara and I loaded the items in the Vibe and took them back to the funeral home while Cathey took the pictures she and Barbara found so she could organize them and give them to LeeAnn for a slide show.
LeeAnn told us she had set a 4:30 appointment for Barbara and me at Resthaven to make the arrangements for the burial service. We had a little time to go back to Embassy Suites and rest and then made the trip around the Loop to meet with Jimmy Young, the Resthaven representative who worked with us to plan the graveside service and design the marker.
About the marker…When Henry died, Barbara picked out a bronze marker that had both Henry’s and her name on it. She asked today about just rubbing out her name and replacing it with Jimmy Clint’s name, but we were told that it was a cast marker and it had to be completely replaced if another name was to be on it. When we asked the cost, Jimmy gave us what we thought was an exorbitant amount. I asked why it was so high and he said we would also have to purchase a new granite slab. That didn’t make a bit of sense to me so I asked him if they didn’t just need to pull the marker out of the slab…after all, it had to be set in the granite to begin with. He looked at me, then consulted his book, and allowed that that was all they needed to do after all and we only needed to order the new marker. We then rode out to the gravesite to confirm that was the place we wanted to bury Jimmy Clint and then returned to the office to finish the necessary paperwork and design the marker
We finally got away from Resthaven around 6:00 and made our way back across Lubbock with stops at Walmart to gas up the Vibe and at What-a-Burger to get a couple of burgers and some fries for our evening meal. Then it was back to Embassy suites to settle in for the night, make more phone calls, and send emails to get folks caught up on the developments of the day.
Saturday, December 11
For once this week we had a semi-leisurely morning to start the day. We decided to take advantage of the breakfast specials in hotel, and were glad we did. They had everything anyone could possible want for breakfast, including omelets cooked to order. It was the first real breakfast we’d had since Tuesday, and we were ready for it.
When breakfast was over, Barbara called Cathey to visit a bit and ended up talking for nearly an hour…there was a lot of ground to cover and arrangements to be made.
After the call, we went upstairs to get cleaned up and dressed for the day and then went to Cathey and Jaycie’s house to visit for about an hour and a half. (This was not a time for cameras or pictures so we have none!) Most of the work and preparations for the visitation and services was completed and for the first time this week we could just sit down and visit, and that was a good thing for all of us.
Barbara and I then drove out to the funeral home to see the visitation room before heading back to the hotel for the afternoon. We had thought about doing some shopping, but the idea of getting out in all the pre-Christmas rush didn’t appeal to us, so we just returned to the hotel to await the arrival of other family members.
Leah and Ryan were the first to arrive and get settled in their room. They were followed a little later by John, Carol, and Randi. John, Ryan, and I left the ladies behind for a while and went to Jo Ann and Johnny’s house to pick up some things that we would need in the hotel tonight.
Barbara’s sister Carol arrived with Teresa and Tamra shortly after we guys got back and then we all went to the atrium to sit and visit. When I joined the group, I found John and Ryan talking to a man who was sitting with them. The man introduced himself as Richard from Seminole. Richard was there for a family wedding but ended up spending enough time talking with us that we declared him to be an honorary family member. (small pic in above collage)
For our evening meal tonight Jo Ann and Johnny brought out several boxes and sacks of food from Orlando’s, a great Italian restaurant and take-out place. We can’t remember what all was included in the meal, but we do know that it was all delicious and no one went away hungry! April and Stacey, Jo Ann’s daughters, brought stuff that night to; but everything is a blur!
While we were gathering in and around our room, Barbara’s younger sister Nancy and her husband Tom came in. They had driven in from Cleburne and were staying in another motel, but came out to spend the evening with family.
Among the highlights of the evening was a visit by one of Barbara’s former elementary school students, Justin Herzog, his wife Candace, and their son London. Barbara and Justin had connected earlier after good friend and former teacher, Arnold Robbins, died and now keep up with each other through email and occasionally facebook. Tonight she got to see him in person after all these years and to meet his lovely family.
Another visitor tonight was Dennis Kinman, a long time friend and former swim team member of John. John and Dennis had a grand time discussing and reliving their earlier exploits.
In the midst of great heartache, tonight showed the healing power of God through family and special friends as we gathered to renew friendships, share love, and remember how much Jimmy Clint meant to those around him.
Sunday, December 12
We had really considered trying to go to church this morning, but after the excitement of last night and not much sleep for either of us, we decided to do what sleeping in we could and then have breakfast with the family members who were staying in the hotel.
We’ve already mentioned the quality (if not the quantity) of the breakfasts; all that remains to be said is that no one in our group was disappointed in the food or service this morning as we gathered in a semi-private area of the atrium/courtyard. While the purpose of our being in Lubbock was sad, we did enjoy being together as family and sharing friendly banter as we ate.
A little before 11:00 we all went to Lake Ridge Chapel for a family viewing and to see how nicely LeeAnn had arranged the room. We met a couple of other members of the Lake Ridge staff this morning and, while we don’t remember their names at this writing, we were again impressed at their friendliness and professionalism, once again reminding us that we had made the right choice in having Lake Ridge handle our arrangements for Jimmy.
While we were visiting last night, Justin said he’d like to prepare a family lunch for us today. We told him that wasn’t necessary, but his insistence won out over our reticence, and shortly after we arrived back at the hotel, Justin showed up with a brisket and all the trimmings. We invited him to join us for the meal, but he said he had to hurry back to the house to prepare food for a family gathering…what a wonderful and thoughtful young man he is and what a pleasure it was to get to meet him and his family… more angels for us just when we needed them!
Our meal was pretty much a come-and-go affair as it was “hosted” in sister Carol’s room and there was limited seating. In addition to the brisket that Justin prepared, we dragged out the leftovers from the food that Jo Ann and Johnny brought last night, so there was no danger of anyone in the group going hungry. At one time or another during that hour or so we had John, Carol, Randi, Carol’s brother Charlie, Leah, Ryan, Tom, Nancy, sister Carol, Teresa, Tamra, Barbara, and me in the room…quite a gathering.
Between the time we finished eating (and cleaning up the mess) and time to go to the chapel for the visitation, we had yet another visitor, Bobby Olson, the son of Barbara and Henry’s next door neighbor for many years. It was good to meet another of the Olson “boys” and to watch as John, Leah, and Barbara reconnected with another family friend. Unfortunately, Bobby’s visit was rather short as he needed to return to the Dallas area this evening and we had to finish getting ready to go to Lake Ridge Chapel for the afternoon.
From 4:00 until a little after 6:00 we met with family and friends who gathered at the funeral home to honor Jimmy and his family and share stories of the times they had spent with various family members. For Barbara, it was a bittersweet time as we gathered in the visitation room to see Jimmy for the last time and then mixed and mingled with her friends and former students that she hadn’t seen in years. To name them all would be impossible, as it would be to put a value on what their presence meant during this sad and difficult time. As we visited, there were several TV monitors above us that played a montage of photographs taken throughout Jimmy’s life that Cathey had gathered and given to LeeAnn to set to music for the occasion.
When the visitation and viewing was over, we returned to the hotel to share the evening with family and friends and once again tackle remaining piles of food that had been so graciously provided to us during our stay. In addition to the food, we even received a gift basket from Embassy Suites, just one among many thoughtful gestures made by the management and staff of the hotel.
A huge comfort to us during the week has been the presence of Jo Ann’s family. Her brother, Charlie, and her daughters, April and Stacy, have been with us throughout the time to offer comfort and friendship and sometimes to just be there and share our grief.
Our friends Gary and Joyce from Houston drove in this evening. They arrived too late for the viewing and visitation at the chapel, but in plenty of time to share the later hours of the evening talking with us and getting us caught up on the latest events in their lives. Barbara and I were worn out relatively early, so the rest of the group retired to John and Carols’ room to while away the nighttime hours while we tried to get some sleep before another hard day.
Monday, December 13
We arose early this morning to join the family for breakfast in the courtyard and then finish packing, clearing out the room, and loading the car. Joining us for breakfast were Carol’s daughters, Connie and Lynette and grandson Barney, who had driven straight through from Phoenix, nearly 800 miles and 29 hours, to join the family this morning. The sacrifice and perseverance of these young ladies to make such a trip brought floods of tears and joy to Barbara.
It was beautiful, but cold outside when Barbara and I left a little after 9:00 to join the Monday morning traffic commute around the Loop to 19th Street and Resthaven Cemetery. The graveside service for Jimmy wasn’t scheduled until 10:00, but we wanted to be early to visit with LeeAnn, who had graciously donated her services to bring the casket to the cemetery this morning.
After visiting with LeeAnn and reviewing the arrangements for the morning, we returned to the Vibe to wait for family and special friends to arrive. We were still in the car at 9:40 when we got a call from Gary and Joyce wanting to know where they were supposed to be. They left the hotel a few minutes before we did, stopped at a drug store, and then came out to the cemetery. Because they weren’t sure where the gravesite was, they stopped at the main office to ask for directions. Instead of getting directions, they were told that everything was being handled by Lake Ridge Chapel. Gary pointed to the sign that indicated a graveside service for Jimmy Colwell at Resthaven, but was again told they would have to go across town to Lake Ridge. So, they left the cemetery and headed back across town, but did call to find out what was going on. Barbara told them to turn around and get back as soon as possible. After all, they are just like family to us and they had driven all the way in from Houston for this service.
About the time Barbara ended that call, I saw the minister’s car pull up. It was getting late, so I went to him and explained what had just happened to Gary and Joyce and to see if we could maybe delay the start of the graveside service for a bit in hopes they could get to the cemetery. When I finished talking, the minister said the same thing had happened to him…he stopped in the office to find out which area of the memorial park he needed to go to and was told by the people up front that he would just have to go to Lake Ridge. Luckily, Matt knew he was supposed to be at Resthaven, so he just drove through the park until he found us.
Just a few minutes before the service started, a representative to Resthaven (not the one we had talked to on Friday) arrived with the computer generation of the new marker that Jimmy Young promised to bring us this morning. He knew nothing of the situation that had occurred in the office this morning, but he did catch the brunt of our anger and frustration over the outrageous mistake and misdirection of the office staff.
Luckily, Gary and Joyce did arrive as we pallbearers gathered to carry the casket to the tent and family members and special friends stood by to make their way to the graveside.
Matt delivered a beautiful short service at the graveside, reminding us of Jimmy’s love and loyalty to his family and friends, and the fact that Jimmy’s life was not defined by his earthly relationships and shortcomings, but by his relationship with his savior, Jesus Christ.
When the service was over and we had said our goodbyes to Jimmy Clint, Barbara finally got a chance to approve and sign off on the computer generation of the new marker.
Barbara did apologize to the gentleman who was out there, but we also reminded him that it was a huge error on the part of someone in the front office.
(Henry always called Jimmy Clint, Plug, since he was built like a fire plug and just as tough as one!)
From the cemetery we drove back across town to St. Luke’s United Methodist Church for the memorial service. It was a last opportunity to meet with special friends and to hear a beautiful service as Matt and Andy Hurst delivered a beautiful message to remind us about many beautiful and meaningful aspects of Jimmy’s life. For us, the service brought great comfort because it was obvious that not only did Matt know about Jimmy, he KNEW Jimmy and was convinced, as we were, that Jimmy had turned his life around and simply ran out of time before he could become the man he wanted to be.
After the service was over and friends had departed, we shared a brief family time as we gathered the flowers and sports memorabilia, loaded them in the cars, and then prepared to leave the church and return to our homes. We said our goodbyes to our family members, got in the Vibe, and drove away, headed to Abilene for the afternoon and evening.
We arrived in Abilene around 3:30 and spent the rest of the day visiting with Dandy, filling her in on the events of the week and basking in her love and friendship as we completed what had to be one of the worst days of our life.
Tuesday, December 14
We got around fairly early this morning, trying to get away from Dandy’s house by 8:00. We almost made it on time, but when we were almost to the interstate, we realized that we’d left Barbara’s cell phone at the house, so she used my phone to call Dandy and tell her we were returning.
After picking up the phone and saying our goodbyes once again, we headed back toward the interstate, but also stopped to get gasoline and maybe save a stop down the highway.
The return trip to Mineola was generally uneventful. We spent the time reviewing and rehashing the last several days and fielding phone calls from family and friends who wanted to check on us. The Dallas/Fort Worth traffic was very cooperative and we sailed through with minimal lane and speed changing, stopping only after we reached Belt Line Road on the east side of Dallas. There’s a really neat store there that we like to shop in as we take a break from driving all those miles.
We arrived back in Mineola just before 3:00, stopped at the post office to pick up a week’s worth of mail, and then went to the house to unload the car, move everything inside and put it away, and restart our lives.
The afternoon and evening were spent getting settled in and talking to friends and family to let them know we were safely home.
"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." - Eskimo proverb
Back home in Mineola, our lives changed forever,
Jim/Dad/Gramps & Barbara/Mom/Grams
Thoughts from Barbara: Even as I read what Jim so lovingly and painstakingly wrote in this journal and I type this note, it all seems so surreal. It’s as though I have fallen in a hole and can’t seem to work my way out. Jim and I have said so many times, “It’s just not the natural order of things” but even that is stupid to say since we know that God is in control so we have to back up and say, “To us humans, it’s not the natural order of things.”
I know that many of you have sent cards and emails, but I confess that I haven’t really read any of them…I just couldn’t when we got home (but I have saved each and will read later) because I needed strength to go back into the caregiver mode and to prepare Christmas for our other children. There just was no time to allow myself to be “weak.” With that being said, I want you to know that I do appreciate each thoughtful gesture and though I may not have contacted you, I do know that you cared.
While Jim worked on the journal, my responsibility was to make the collages and both the writing and the collages took much more time than normal as we would find ourselves stopping to just get a grip! But…since our journals are our legacy, our gift, our history for our children and grandchildren, we had to persevere. We hope and pray that through our lives others will find a glimmer of something that will enrich their lives and maybe make them understand that without God, one cannot get through the rough times or enjoy the mountain tops.
My last act of love I could do for Jimmy Clint was to make a collage of favorite shots that we had taken within the last year and a half. I love you, Son!
